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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in written source's LiveJournal:

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Saturday, July 23rd, 2016
10:23 pm
Debbie Wasserman Schultz is a Gloria Steinem Feminist
It's a feminism thta is based on the notion that women can be as corrupt as men in power.

It's embarassing what Wasserman-Schultz did.

And now Hillary is supporting Wasserman Schultz, not a good idea if you want Bernie voters.

Hillary had to pick someone who did not outshine her.  The others woud have she needed to get bland because she is bland.
9:31 pm
Fall from Grace for the Irish Maffia
I was never from Milwaukee.  I lived there for 11 years and I was never from there.  I went there because I thought I would get lost in people who are posers and I knew that i could discern the conservatives in Milwaukee much better.

It was like being in a concrete desert.  I would walk the streets on the East Side focused on my writing/poetry.  I read the poets and I wrote.

I would have had no life at all if I had stayed in that concrete Roman Catholic City.

They followed me here. and used the Irish Mafia to try to destroy me

  Meanwhile Doyle went out as govenor with the worst approval rating of any govenror, 32 percent,   and he cheated himself out of Stanford Education back when the UW was nothing and his father was a powerful judge and the son came back to finish his senior year.  And I looked up Stanford's policy at the time tthat he came back and if one cheated they were asked to take a year off.   My mother cued me in, she said, "Generally if someone cheated they were asked to take a year off."

He said his reason was Jessica Laird, would you come for Jessica Laird? Maybe for her money in her family.  He spent his last weeks as governor away from Jessica with Susan Goodwin in Mexico.

McCann was a called  "A SAINT NO MORE" because he did what the police (Lawrencia Bembenek and no prosecution of police who murdered black people) and he did what the Catholic Church wanted.

https://www.milwaukeemag.com/2007/11/07/ASaintNoMore/   (report on the opportunist McCann)

And then last year the Jesuits street thug attorney was disbarred.

All 3 of those men were involved in the lies about me wasting resources and terrifying people with these gag orders.

They fell from grace.

I am from Shullsburg and from Dubuque from those wonderful Aunts of my mother's and now I am from Madison.

I was never from Milwaukee.

To have two people next door spying on me for over 3 years and to have them be from that group that kept me out of Madison in the first place is poetic justice.

The day he pounded and re pounded on my car window is the day I knew I won.

This week I am focusing on my writing life.  I have a great life !
9:19 pm
Ralph Nader and Rose Kennedy on Dick Cavett
The night before last Ralph Nader was on Dick Cavett when Nader was younger.    You listen to what he and his movement did.  For instance people used to die at hospitals from electrocution; it was a major problem and also he worked on improving the radiation risk saying they are good thing but people are being poisoned by the over use and the technicians were being killed.

Marcus Welby a.k.a. was on the Nader episode and I noticed his smile was not congruent in that he seemed to be annoyed by Nader.  Cavett asked him if he was feeling left out and said he was.

I looked him up thinking he may be a republican but it said that despite his happy go lucky way he has severe depression and that was what I was picking up nonverbally.

Last night Rose Kennedy was on and she spoke of the loss of her 3 sons (Joe, Jr. John F, and Bobby) and she said she learned to accept it and to go on cheerfully.

Her son Teddy reportedly scolded the choir at JFK, Jr's  funeral when they sang a sad song.  (I read that in Robert Kennedy Jr.'s journal that was published without his permission)   RFK, Jr. wrote that Teddy was his charming Teddy self.

So maybe he learned how to deal with death from his mother, Rose.  She was on Cavette to talk about "mental retardation" that is the word they used so it shows it was a show from the 70's .

I remember looking at Rosemary Kennedy's phooto in Kennedy books when I was in high school thinking , she doesn't look like she has down's syndrom.

And Rosemary's birth defect was the result of a male doctor having a nurse have Mrs. Kennedy hold the child in so he would get the money for the birth .

What women have gone through !

But Patrick Kennedy wrote in his book that Rosemary started to show signs of mental illness aroudn the time her Father had the lobotomy done.

I find the Cavett shows to be bittersweet.    There are people on who worn us about the environment and here we are 25 to 40 years later (depending on the interview) speeding up entropy .

I read Ghost's book a long time ago and he said that environmentalsits put speed bumps on the road of the destruction we do to the earth.

You watch the insightful comments backed by fact by Cavett's Guests and you have to believe that we are only producing speed bumps.

But I found from goggling that Ghost is into permaculture these days.    And ti seems to me that permaculture is a soution outside of the problem.

That's how Larry Hopwood trained us as therapist, saying that the solution can be outside of the problem.

And I envision all of these permaculture people changing the world by ignoring corporate greed and turning to the plant's seed.
9:04 pm
High Expectations on God
I just finished lifting weights.

I did it like the curves program.  Harbor has a women's weight room which I like.  And so I went through a set at each one and then circled back again.

I know you are supposed to lift heavy so that repeats are hard or impossible.  A

I just take strength from doing this.

I put the expectation on God, thanking God for motivating me to lift weights.

And in an hour I will thank God for getting me back in the pool.

And now my most recent prayer has been , thank you God for motivating me to write in my novels and for giving me ideas.
7:22 pm
This is the 6th day on going to the workout club
I exercised right away when I got here.

I was on my way to see Mom but the nurse told me they were under a Tornado warning so I told her to tell I wans't coming.

I felt the potential for severe weather on my skin all day and was tentative about going.

I chose to babysit and then I thought I would drive down but my skin was right it was bad weather.

When you grow up in the rurarl area, or maybe an Irish Catholic town, you learn to feel bad weather on your skin.

So I went through the drive thru at McDonald's and got a cookie and some beverages.  She wanted to sell me 3 cookies and I said, "If I get 3 I might eat 3."

Before that I had gone to Subway and got a steak and cheese which was a major splurge as far as healthy eating goes but I wanted it and I never get it so a six inch not the best choice and a six inch better choice for later.

I am armed with a smoothie made with spinach, celery stalk and pea protein and water.

I just worked out in the pool for 35 minutes.  I have been walking in the pool before I leave Harbor so my work out was more intensive earlier.

I weighed and I am down 8 and a half pounds since last Monday.  I eat all of the time.  Lots of veggies and I learned in a weight watchers meeting in Madison a few years ago, IF you are going to eat something decadent own it.

I owned that cookie from McDonalds, and the sub sandwich and the other cookie I got from subway.

I watch a 3 year old and he eats with gusto when he eats.  he looks at his cookie and takes tiny bites and is involved in the cookie so i learned from him.

I would like to get down ten pounds total by this coming Friday so that in August I can work on getting past the set point which i have yet to get past. 

I will simply keep doing what I am doing.

Tonight I will lift weights and go back to the pool for a night cap swim before I go home.
7:00 pm
I swear Barron Trump has aspergers
I believe the child was yawing and covering his eyes because he was over stimulated. 

"Barron didn't smile, but seemed mesmerized with the confetti and balloons that followed."


"The Irlen Method helps individuals with Autism & Asperger Syndrome who have ... Mesmerized by colors, patterns, or light; Behavior changes in bright lghts or ..."

3:37 pm
Donald Trump was 60 when his youngest son was conceived.
I think Donald Trump's son has aspergers.

The footage from the convention shows that the child may be on the spectrum.  Aspergers are high functioning and used to be called geniuses.
3:35 pm
Play and Pray
I am with two cute kids.  One of them is on the spectrum and his joy is contagious.

People love him.  He is the most joyful person I have ever been around.

He talks to his toys like kids do and he will have his toy say, 'I love you, X"  X being his name.

I do that when I pray.  I say, "I love you, Jesus"  And then I channel Jesus, "I love you, too."

We can learn from kids on the spectrum on self seficiency.  I realized I pray like he plays.

And play at it's best is about self empowerment.
12:26 am
My best moment of the day
was when a cardinal stopped outside my bathroom window as I showered.  2 feet from me.  I had just spent two hours doing personal work on myself and there it was the outreach from God.

The cardinal became a sign on my long jounrey with the Church years ago when I was reduced to nothing.

God reaches out to us in ways that we understand.
12:23 am
Motivated and Grateful
This past Monday night I started lifting weights again and then I swam.

I have been doing this every night at Harbor.  I want to  thank the Republican Convention for giving me humor and horror as I drank my water and greens smoothie, and I ate my salad at Harbor.

So each night at the end of my day I weigh I contnue to go down.   I have lost 7 and a half pounds since Monday.

I lift weights every other day but tonight I gave myself a break from that and will pick it up tomorrow.

I log onto weight watchers and to this other free site where I can log my stress levels which have been low, I have no stress.

So, I am going to keep doing what I am doing.

Each night as I type here at Midnight at Harbor I feel pride in my efforts and grateful to the choices I have made to completely de stress my life.

I am grateful to Joel Osteen's messages on Sirius XM.

I am also grateful to my mother who used to pack me a picnic lunch as a child and tell me, "Go have a picnic."

There was such anticipation and freedom I felt the freedom.

And it was a small town so I could go walk somehwere sit down and have a picnic.

Now, I pack a picnic every day and keep helathy choices with me.
Friday, July 22nd, 2016
9:31 pm
Let The Countdown for Le Poop Noir begin ! Jimmy's a super delegate?

Well, Jimmy we are cheering you on in Madison, Wisconsin home of the Anonymous Christians where the secular live out a consistent life ethic, let the countdown begin.

You see so many people have endured this stalking in Madison; we want it to be worthwhile so you go Jimbo
and just remember that the author of how curia works of Vanity Fair, reads my blog.


My dad would say to you, "Aint it fun?"

Go Jimbo Go ! We who have endured the fear that comes with the gag orders are cheering you on !

I bet you are a super delegate in Jesuit land your vote is waited since you are 2nd to the present Black Pope I bet you hand picked your future votes !

We can't wait in Madison !
Go Jimbo Go !

I left my "weighted" homonym there for you to criticize because back when this stalking wasn't even 5 years old I e mailed Mat Gleason,  "I have a problem with homonyms."

He wrote back "You have a problem with homonyms but you don't have a problem with homos."

Isn't that funny given that this is all about homophobia?

And here's the deal I have to confess to you that I have an image of you when I read the first paragraph of the Vanity Fair Aritcle, the naked man with the towel hiding from the reporter.   I am sorry I see you naked with a fig leaf in a sauna !
9:08 pm
Jim Grummer has to be salivating about Tim Kaine
A former Jesuit Volunteer Corp member in El Progresso Honduras except Kaine is not progressive he aligns himself with bankers and according to Callen Harty has recently lobbied for the rights of bankers.

And I imagine Jimmy is thinking, 'oh just when I get to be Le Poop Noir, Jesuit jumper will be Vice President !"\

hahahahah We are all waiting for your hard calculated reign, Jimmy.
Thursday, July 21st, 2016
10:20 pm
The Sociopathic Stalking for the Chosen Black Pope
A soicopath does the same thing over and over hoping to get a different reaction not out of any kind of stratgey.

Their strategy was to let me know where they are because they know what others know about me, I am preceptive.

My mother told me 5 years ago, "Your father used to say, 'that one knows what is going on.''

So they know that and they want my demise, my emointal and psychological demise and it's not going to happen.

They know who Shullsburg told me.

You see, you never should have come into Shullsburg.  My dad was loved.

As i listen to Joel Osteen speak of what your parents can do for your future I think of my dad.

And I think of John Daniel (his friend) 's niece sayig to me during this, "Your parents were good people."

And so the embarassment over my mother having aspergers is something that I have no time for and I never will.

I know she's a genius.

She went to a tea at Campion and all of the mothers gathered and the Jesuit came to her and she talked to him that she thought the curriculum was too old for those kids.

The Jesuts were showing them articles from Playboy telling the students that they just bought them for the articles.

30 years before all the scandals came out in the Church.

My mother went to another tea years earlier at Clarke to pick up her sister, Mary.  Joe Biden's Mentor (Mike Mansfield) was there because his wife was a Clarke alum and he spent the entire tea speaking to my mother.

My mother's ideas fill my life to this day  I consider ideas to be more imporatnt than money for my life.
10:02 pm
Grief is different than constant complaining
I am good with grief.

I am not good with self pity in others who use your time to complain.

Grief is different.  I have always been good with people's  grief.

Even my own.

The thing about grief is that as we grow we may have to regrieve an incident that we thought we put behind us because as we grow we gain a new understanding and with that insight some a need at times to re grieve.

I studied under Larry Hopwood and my clients came back.  The clients knew economic struggle and were known as marginal.   We were told that the popuation we served probably would not return, but my clients came back.

I remember the time this woman who went to St. Ben's for community meals came to see me.  She returned 3 times and she said to me the last time, "i won't be coming back.  God Bless you, Teresa."

I considered it to be an important blessing.

I can deal with grief in people, Iam good with it.  But I am not good with critics who want to come together to talk about what's wrong with people, it's draining.  But grief is real and is seasonal.

That's what I have learned.

I look back at my moments of strength in my grief adn I am proud.  I missed my mom every day until I found her.

I cried every day.

Every day I prayed to my dad, "Please take care of Mom."

And when he died she was 60 and she went back to grad school and she earned her Masters while teaching Math in 5 years.

I turned to education in my grief.  Middleton Library is a gold mine for me.  And there was a flyer for the writing institute at the UW  http://continuingstudies.wisc.edu/writing  I took a course WEEKEND WITH YOUR NOVEL

My mother has taught me how to survive and thrive.  I have a canoe with a Native American  in it that I bought duirng the worst of the stalking .

I said to her on the phone back when Mat Gleason and I reconnected, "I can't do this anymore."

They are sociopaths in their stalking; they do the same thing over and over.  It' s nothing new.  I don't put anyone in a postion to tell me anuything and yet they want to freak people out so that Jim Grummer can be Le Poop Noir.  That is what this is about.

So years ago when it caused me anxiety I cried to her on the phone, "I can't do this anymore."

She said, "The Native Americans teach their young to paddle their canoes and when the young can't go on anymore the Native Americans tell them to paddle mroe to get stronger."

My mother is the greatest teacher of my llife.

When she was ripped from my life, her lessons on how to survive and thrive anchored me.

I like how strong I am.

She said to me last year, "You get that toughness from the French , you don't get that From the Irish."

She's my great teacher.
7:39 pm
Another great day !
This is the third day of my going to Harbor for the night and it is all going well.

I wake up and I make healthy smoothies.

Tonight, I will go to harbor, I am across the street at McDonald's right now.

I have a problem with diet coke so now I start the day iwth healthy smoothies, a protein powder with chia seeds and probiotics, then I had a nother one with milk andstrawberries but it needed a ripe pear so I added that.

And what happend is that I had my first diet coke at around 2:30 and then went with iced water, and now I will get ice and go to Harbor topping the day off with a swim well I walk.

There are no cravings and I am free in so many ways. 

I am grateful .

I also hung out with 3 kids who I haven't seen in a while.  They are fun.  They let all the animals out of the Madison Zoo and channel 3 came to give special reports on the progress of finding the animals.

Then, teh storm came I am going to brave it again to get into Harbor.

I am incredibly grateful for Joel Osteen being on Sirius XM; he's about self empowerment.   And now his voice plays instead of the voice of the critics.

I tend to be optimistic so this is a good fit.

I have hope and I wish all people this kind of happiness.

I did ask Cath the other day about the Novice Master, "how can somebody say the things he said to a 20 something ?"

She said, 'he looked for the vulnerable.

I said, "Joel Osteen would never say the things he said to me to anyone."

Neither would my dad.

My dad is still remembered for how he made people feel in my hometown.
12:30 am
Expectations on God
I knew when I stayed late to watch cable at Harbor that I would be tired today.

But health wise I am doing well, so I told myself, there  are no excuses you have to stick with your goals.

That meant an hour and a half of exercise.  30 lifting weights adn 60 in the pool.

I said, "Thank you God for helping lift weights."

That's how I got in the weight room.

Then, with fatigue at me at 1110 p.m. I said, "Thank you God for getting me in the pool"

And that's how I did it.

Now, I say thank you god for taking me home to my bed  !
Wednesday, July 20th, 2016
7:59 pm
Grace and Intrinsic value

I popped in to see Mom.

She smiled and I smiled.

She asked me to sit down on her bed.  I said, "I can't because it blares if I do that."

She said, "No you can."

I said, "I will get a chair."

And she was all smiles about the republican convention.  She thinks he might win. I think he might, too.  But this is the worst convention in the history of conventions !

We laughed about things on it.

We talked of life.
I said, "You have a new couch here."  (Meaning her bed)  and she grabbed the railing on her bed to turn on her side the way she used to grab the raliing to pull herself up the steps when she walked.  She is strong.

We looked out the window.  She said, "I think that might be a hickory nut tree."

I asked, "Really?"

She said, "Yes, but I am not sure."

I said, "There is a nest in that tree."

She said, "The birds come and they do not fight."

I said, "Remember teh final months at your house when those angry birds kept flying into your window and you had to put aluminum foil up."

She said , "Oh yes I forgot about that."

I thought the birds were sent from God telling her she had to fight for her life.  I also thought they could be telling her that it was time to go to the next level of life.

Now, she has peaceful birds.

God sends us metaphors that we have experienced as messangers in teh past and birds have been used as messengers in all of this.

I said, "I had an interview but I am not going to get it."

She asked, "Why?"

I said, I could tell she googled me and I want to be myself so if I don't get it it's okay, nothing bothers me these days, I'll be okay.  The only thing that bothers me is when you are mistreated, why didn't you tell me they made you sit with the screaming woman?

She said, "I didn't want to upset you."

Now, they aren't letting me use the internet there so that is against her because we look at things on line together.

And they all had that "Oh No" about them today because I came out and said that I figured out a long time ago that they were in there.

I don't tell her this stuff.

She said, 'Last night, at dinner,  I said, "Can't you shut her up?"

I asked, "What did they say?"

She said, "Nothing."

Usually when a patient complains  they tell the patients, "Be nice."

It's someone sadistic that puts her by my mom, they read here and it is clear the woman sends her up the wall because she has aspergers and people on the autism spectrum  have trouble handling noise.

All of the readers know she has complained about the nonsensical screaming woman.

Today MOm said with kindness in a matter of fact voice, "She belongs somewhere else."

I said, "I think he has money and they are low on residents."

Mom said, "Well they should feed her in a different room."

My mother is educated.  She earned her Masters at the age of 65; she took computer courses for years so she is able to name that the woman is telling all of them this is where you are going.

You are sadistic making them endure her screaming.

Then, her relative waits for me to say something as he goes out the door, I have seen the look of being involved when you are a nobody in life, finally he's part of the group.

I say nothing.

All they did was move Mom from the woman's table to the next table and then they put Mom in a position where the woman is screaming behind mom and it goes in her ears.    They have their backs to each other.

Mom said, "I think I will end up like that and what will they do with me."

I said, "By the time, you end up like that I will have money and I will make sure you are taken care."

She smiled.

I said, 'It's great you have on MSNBC"

She said, 'I always do."

I said, 'But in the beginning I could only get you to watch CNN."

I told Cath at the time, "I don't know what level of intelligence I am dealing with in these people so I know that every one can grasp the number 53 but getting to 53.21 with an arrow and no numbers to push can be a challenge for some so I simply ask for channel 53."

I used to call to ask them to put on CNN.  I was fighting to get her back to her interests.

Some people can be super bright and others could be not so bright .  I had to assume simple to get her back to her interests.

Cath agreed.

It was Grace that I found her watching MSNBC.

She said, "I trained them.:"  She smiled.  She meant she trained the staff to put MSNBC.

When I found her, she hung her head all of the time with her eyes closed and I fought to bring her back to her life of ideas.  She had been without me for months.  I was her constant in her life and I would pay people to visit her and check on her.

She asked me today how Ron Johnson beat Russ Feingold.  I had said that Feingold is running great ads.

To her question I responded, "Well Rachel Maddow said on the night that Feingold lost to Johnson that it was hard for a democratic senator to win in a state where the incumbent democratic governor Jim Doyle only had a 32 percent approval rating."  Doyle lost that night as well.

I said, "I have heard more negative things about Jim Doyle's wife from people you would describe as the subcutlure.  The parents don't tell stories of a kind woman lifting people up."

Mom said, "She probably looked down on people who needed kindness."

It was a beautiful day with her.  I imagine you will try to make things worse for her to get me to react.

I will simply succeed.

I told Cath today, "I want to give my readers hope.  Intellectuals like to make things dark and somber as if it makes them brilliant and some of the things written are but everything doesn't have to be dark and somber."

A great lesson in that was seeing Ted in GUYS ON ICE as two Wisconsin Fisherman wait for the newscaster to come and what I thought after seeing it in the lobby is, "Oh, my god, it's WAITING FOR GODOT with humor."

I am so tired of dark drama.

I thanked Cath today for all she has done for my life.  She said, "I haven't done anything."

I asked her if she had a scraper to scrape the padding off under the carpetting and she asked, "What are you going to put there?"

I said, "Well if i don't have the funds I am just going to paint it, it's concrete.  I don't want carpeting"
She said to tell her when I want it done.

I said, I am not having you do that.

She said she would get her sons.

I said, "I will pay them."

She said, "You don't have to pay them."

Yes, I do but this is how she is with me and she is my Clarke life in the present.

I am happy.

An adult on the autism spectrum will only work iwth her and he now wants to go to 2 days instead of 1 day.  She has a way about her.  She's not sure she wants to leave the job becuase of the work she is doing with him.

There are Jessica Laird Doyle's who look down on people and then there are Cath's.  I choose to stand with the Cath's.

12:38 pm
Appearance versus Reality
At Harbor I had on the convention and Middleton tends to be on the liberal side so they would look at me to see my reaction to things being said and I said nothing.

Hey, I had on MSNBC.

Melania's speech keeps digging a bigger whole, the speech writer said that he called Melania and she said she lliked Michele Obama and that she liked things Obama said and the speech writer said he wrote the things down and he should have checked.

I think she is opened minded to say she likes Michelle Obama, but that speech writer would have my mother sayiing, "With Friends like that who needs enemies !"

Yikes !

12:32 pm
Groundhounds Day can be useful if we repeat useful things
Last night I had this great feeling of achievement having had the best nutrition day of my life.  I want that feeling back again tonight.

So Larry Hopwood taught in his training of strenght based counseling, "Keep doing what your doing."

This morning I got up made a scrambled egg with zuchinni noodles with some Trader Jo's parmeasan cheese sprinkled on it

Then,   I made a green smoothie of one cucumber, one zuchini, cup of greens, celery and water and that will go throug the day with me.

And I just had oatmeal (I put 2 cups of water in the 1/2 cup of dry oatemal and I added a chopped up apple)  cinnamonn too.

Last night I discovered that when we take Vitamin D3 we also need to take Vitmain K (google it, they explain it bettter than I do.) 

What a wonderfl day !
Tuesday, July 19th, 2016
11:38 pm
A postcard to the Universe
What a wonderful day in my stay cation !

I am still at Harbor.  I just worked out in the pool for an hour.  My goal was 30 minutes because it is late but I wanted to go longer.

I ended up with burning 800 calories and I have 300 left over on one program but I have 11 points left over for the day and this has never happened to me.

I am so happy with life !
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