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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in written source's LiveJournal:

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Wednesday, September 28th, 2016
8:01 pm
The Experience of God
I got home and my electricity was off and the guy below had lights so I knew mine had been turned off and the thing is I kept ignoring this message, 'you better take care of that."  that was coming from the God place inside of me.

I said to the "ears inside my walls" (to quote John Prine)  "I wonder if you can hear me without electricity."

I went out and it was obvious from the noise I made that I was going out and James Bond came out too thuse giving me information that you don't need electricity to listen into my place.

Perfectionists would have judgment that I made this mistake.  I have been through things and people are going through horrendous things in life.  This is fixable and with the power of body movement I feel fine.

I was ignorning a voice in me to tend to it so this is the consequence.

But the information I got from your spy.

IT's like the time I didn't have my phone in the car and there he was waiting and so I knew you listen in dirrectly through the car.

You see, your boy in Rome knows how perceptiive I am so I think you put this dude on me knowing I would read him.

I am pleased with my reaction to the whole thing.  Really pleased.  Its my fault and I'll fix it.

And so it goes but oh the information I got that you can listen in without my electricity.

Is he one of your finest?
6:53 pm
All is well
All is good.

I knew I was well when I was in the pool at Harbor and felt so grateful for Harbor's exisstence.
6:47 pm
My life with James Bond
He rushes home when I go to my place.  I often sit in the car to listen to music or the news before I go up and sure enough he pulls in.

I am grateful for his presence because I never have to wonder if the FBI is on me and where else could you put him with the East Side knowng who he is.

Plus, he motivates me because he has a sedentary piece of   "exercise equipment" and I have named it and he hears what I named it by listening in. I never say a word to him in public.

And so I think of him in his motionless sedentary "exercise equipment"  and  I move my body.

Which is good  because this time of year with S.A.D. I can get down adn so I go to Harbor and it is better than a med for my brain.  I can feel the relief afterI exercise and i have been going to the cold pool.

Then, I watched some news and a woman and I shared a laugh about something.

And then I am out of there only to go home to ask James Bond, hey how you doing on that sedentary piece of equipment.

I can't  tell you my special name for him, one has to listen in to hear it.

And so there you go, it's all good.  I am fortunate to know who he is so I always know that they are still on me.
Tuesday, September 27th, 2016
4:42 pm
Bobby Riggs and Billy Jean King continued
The debate proved to be interesting because it showed that a man in his 70's who did not keep up with the changing times of women.

I think some of her mistakes are really stupid.

Do you know that Michelle Obama's email was hacked and she said nothing controversial.

I told Mom that Colin Powell said things casually like Israel has 200 bombs pointed toward Iran.

She said, "He probably wanted it out there."

But despite my not being passionate about Hillary and frankly maybe those days are over for me, I did see how the female struggle that started years before the 60's and 70's culiminated in that debate last night with a man who should have speaking in a board room with men smoking cigars.

It was fascinating to watch how he just didn't get it.  He even insulted Rosie O'Donnel again.  HIs wife looks miserable.

And the republicans are saying today that Trump took the high road by not questioning Clinton's demonization of the women Bill had affairs with.   Their point is that if she is a feminist that she will not attack women at all.

She's human.  To expect her to look to theorize with feministic theory on the lives of the women her huband cheated with is not reasonable.

The law and theory is there for us so that when we can't be reasonable the law comes in to handle it (at least theoretically) we can not always make objective decisions for the good of country and citizen when we have been victimized.
4:35 pm
Woody Allen on Dick Cavett today
This is the Dick Cavett Show that was on today on the DECADES NETWORK  which is free tv ata 27.3 in Madison.

Allen appears at 13 minutes and 47 seconds.   The show starts with Cavett reading fan mail some of which criticizes him for the opposite of what the previous fan mail criticized him for not being enough of.

In this piece, Woody Allen makes fun of the Jewish people who are celebrating the day of atonement and he admits to being a pervert and thinks it's so funny.  It's as if he thinks he pulled one over by admitting it and we don't believe it.

He was a father figure to Mia Farrow's daughter and he then married her; the relationship started in her teens.

She was an orphan abandoned on the streets of Korea.

So the director got to get a female in the end that he could control and manipulate to form into what he wnated her to be and their common enemy appears to be Mia Farrow.
Monday, September 26th, 2016
6:42 pm
Win Jimbo, Win !
You see, at the time I taped, well the law in Wisconsin said that only one person had to know the conversation was being taped.

And I would not have known to tape it if the Great Novice Master hadn't done thing on me.  I learned fast to document.

So come on Jimbo, win !

Oh and my brother, the genius?  He said, "Terri, you've got them by the balls."

And I said, "Patrick, that is vulgar."

He said, 'I don't know what else to say?  I can't believe my sister pulle this off."

You know I did.

And my dad would say, 'Aint it fun ! "

I want you to win to make what people ahve gone through in Milwaukee, Madison, Shullsburg and Dubuque worthwhile.
6:11 pm
Bert Thelen left the Jesuits because Jim Grummer undid all the work Thelen did to make

the Jesuits egalitarian.   Grummer worked to make the Wisconsin Province an international financial power house and then he got to Rome and he stayed and he is now the personal confidant of the current Black Pope and all votes are  lined up for Jimbo.

We want you to win, Jimbo.  Oh, yeah, we in Madison want you to be the next Black Pope.

And the James Bond people who pound on my car window and stand in the middle court yard to give me the finger when I say nothing to them, well, I want them to stay because then I know the FBI is still on me even if you do the multilayered approach which the FBI does.

All for the glory of homophobia right.

I mean I have you on tape.  And well how many people can say they have the next Black Pope on tape.

Bert Thelen said to me after I exposed the scandal, "Teresa, you know when to do the right thing."  And there was shock in his voice.

Now, that i have encountered life I understand that not many do the right thing.

But Thelen did the right thing, he left the Jesuits at the age of 80 ! Oh to be so alive as an octogenarian !


Hey , you've got the votes lined up why don 't you and your reservation Jesuit do something for Leonard Peltier !

p.s. Jimbo, God is more powerful than your manipulations !

5:37 pm
Mom has earthly angels
"Hello, Ethel Doyle.  Hello, Ethel Doyle."

This strong African American CNA said that the other evening.  I had never seen this particular CNA before and assmed she was new and she said, "I love her; she is so feisty."

I smiled and said, "I know she is."

It took me back to when Mat Gleason and I reconnected and she just pushed me back to life.  I was broken from this stalking.

Terrified, too.

I would have done suicide but I thought it would be hard on my nephews to have an Aunt who did suicide.  Truly.

Mat pushed me.  And I shot back and he said, 'Now, that's the feisty Terri, I remember."

I remember telling Tim Heller about Fergie divorcing her prince, 'Oh, she just didn't know what she was getting into.'

He said, "Terri, you sound like you know what she went through."

I said, "The Jesuits?  The Monarchy?  What's the difference."

It's all about contorl of your subjects.

It means a great deal to me that my mother is respected by the African American staff at the nursing home because in my work in the mental health field I saw African American staff be treated terribly by clients and you have to take it.

You see, Mat Gleason pushed me back to life all those years ago and then I had to do this on my own using the blog he gave me saying, "I think you need this."

And I told my mom as I cried to her sitting on my toilet, "He just kept pushing me, and pushing me."

She said, "He was good for you."

I thought I needed family in all that trauma of being stalked and harassed but there were many times I would get shunned because of campaigns run against me .

It jsut became boring, a get together where who knows who is discussed.  I got out and I am free to write.

My mother is amazing.

I said to my therapist, "I wish my mother would take on the Jesuits, she could handle them."

This was when the novice master did his manufactured martyrdom, hey, hahaha, grab one of those women from L incolnshire and she will serve you well because it's all about image and well the JESUITS !

My mother went in there and I walked out iwth my graduate degree.

I turned over the letters from Roach to Larry Hopwood and the next day after the advisor whose son was an in house lawyer for DiUlio  kept telling the education deparment that there was no scandal

And the letters showed it went to the top 3 administrators.

And a tenured professor told me, "There are many who think well of you in this, Teresa."

I am glad my mom is appreciated by the African American staff.    She is not racist.

We were on our way to Colombia and this blond thing was rude to us and I went to the African American supervisor and I said to mom, "She wants us to come over to talk to her."

Mom saw she was African American and she said, "C'mon let's go, I get along with them."  Generally they are strong like my mother.  They have been up against things and know about justice.

The woman put my mom and me in first class.

Patrick got on board the plane to see we were in first class and said of his ex wife, "Oh she is going to be so jealous."

He meant it.
5:19 pm
They came into Shullsburg school where my mom taught
telling them that they wanted to watch my computer use if I used her school computer.

She didn't know.  I knew.

And anyway, at that same time she told Mr. Mailand the school superintendant that someone had written a homophobic slur on a study hall desk where a gay student sat and she said, 'It needs to be cleaned off."

And he did nothing.

This is your legacy, JIMBO !
5:06 pm
"A case involving homosexuality would not be good for the University"
That is what Al Diulio reportedly told E. Michael McCan when Roach was going to press charges for forged llove letters.

And that is why people have been terrorized with gag orders since 1997.

Watch AMERICAN CRIME season 2 on Netflix.

A modern day version of how a case involving homosexuality causes a top administrator and a conservative board to become criminals and causes others to become criminials.

It's all there:  the politics of adminstrators, rape, and donors, quite interesting that today homosexulaity still breeds stories like this in the world of academics.

Go Jimbo Go, make all of these gag orders since 1997 worthwhile ! 

Sunday, September 25th, 2016
3:15 pm
So, please don’t tell me “All Lives Matter”, please don’t tell me “It’s sad, but…”. Just tell me you
Above line main point of this Christian woman's plea to her white Christian friends.

I found this link from a mother on facebook whose kids I watch.

3:06 pm
A homophobic life ethic in Dubuque
Chik fil A would not find success in Madison.

Well Dubuque had one open and all the Catholic College kids camped out for the free food of the grand opening.

The company is homophobic with the CEO Dan T. Cathy funding  a campaign against same sex marriage.

Annie has been raised by same sex mother and she wanted to go to Chik fil A

I took her and we got there and it was closed and i said, "It's Sunday they are closed."

She asked, "Why is it closed on Sunday?"

I said,   "It's run by a right wing Christian who probably thinks Sunday is a day for the lord."

I personally think every day is a day for the Lord.

So I googled it and sure enough,  like the right wing run Hobby Lobby up the street on Dodge Chik fil a is honoring it's conservative god in a town where the main bumper sticker you will run into are "pro life" yep birth those babies so the Catholic priests can raise them and molest them, right?

I was listening to someone from Mexico and he said that the Catholic Church keeps the people in poverty with the mindset that being poor is a sure way to heaven and so the poor keep having children.

And that's why i like Joel Osteen because he interprets the Bible with a up lifting message of hope and transformation.

I was going to Chik Fil A for Annie because i love her but in Madison this right wing non local chain would not have a chance.

Madison has fabulous locally owned restaurants with the people coming into town being the ones that fund the chain restaurants.

And in Madison you don't see pro life bumper stickers because the secular are too busy living a consistent life eithic by trying to feed those unaborted babies that the right wing insists on birthing and then say, "Make it on your own, we did it on our own."
Saturday, September 24th, 2016
9:22 pm
I was so proud of myself that I discovered this band, MUDCRUTCH on Tom Petty radio thinking Pety was just playing their music and then I just found out that it was the band that laaunched him into fame.
9:18 pm
I gave Annie a "Dylan Doyle Band" t shirt
last night.

And Cath said, "That is her nephew."

And Annie said, "Terri that is so sweet of you to give it to me."

And that's when I told Cath that Dylan is in Bellvue tonight and she asked, "Do you want to go?"

I said, "Family might be there."

And she said, "We would be with you."

I said, Maybe next time.
9:13 pm
This is such a happy house
I took my mom supper.   She ate the heirloom tomato with pleasure.   Cath made her pork chop and cut up a cantelope.  I tore up greens for her.  I added a serving of jello which she likes.

She said in her reserved way, "Did I tell you that Patrick rang your doorbell today?"

I said, 'No, did he visit you?"

He did.

I said, "I am glad that he visited you."

She said, He rang the doorbell and I wanted you to know.

Tears left my eyes and I said, "Well, my door bell doesn't work because they put a listening device in my condo on it, and you were right all those years ago when I told you someone told me it was the FBI and you said, 'Terri, someone is trying to drive you over the edge.'

The people they put on me are so easy to read and it has been that way for years.

Although when Monica and Tim met me at Clarke after my one year at Marquette in the early 80's  and they said, "You can walk into a room full of strangers and know what's up with them within ten minutes."

I asked, "Isn't it obvious?"

They said no.

And so the FBI came into the counseling center and I picked up stuff ever since originally knowing that my role in the uiniverse was a small one so I refused to believe that it was the FBI and thought it was the Jesuits' investigators trying to send me over the edge.

That was in 1997 at the counseling center.

And I told mom that Cath and I talked about going to Bellvue to see Dylan tonight but she is not well and I am afraid I would cry and that was before Patrick stopped to see me.

Patrick and I are old friends.

A classmate saw us say hi in high school, he was a senior and I was a freshman and I said, "Hi, Pat."   He said, "Hi, Terr"

And I remember the moment and the friend said, 'You can just tell you are friends."{

And his senior year he won the physics award but he did not want to initiatate anyone who was a freshman so I knew not to do it when I was a senior.  Groupies don't question those kinds of actions.

Then, he went to college on a football scholarship and he quit because he just didn't want to hit people anymore.

I saw the letter from M.I.T. asking him to go there and he asked me, "Where is M.I.T?"

I being a student of all things Kennedy said with excitement, "Boston !"

We dind't knwo that they only accept the top one percent of the top 3 percent of tests scores

And he became a wild adventurer and my mother said, "i saw the world because of Patrick."

So now I will get to see him and just let him know that I don't want to talk about any famliy members and ask him not to tell them anything about me.

We have such interesting conversations that it will all be possible and he makes me laugh.  Something odd will happen and we will just burst out laughing together.

Tonight I came home to Cath.  I brought pizza, Annie was all smiles, and said, "I didn't expect that.

And then Ryan came downstairs and we went over the alphabet and spelled words and we were screaming and cheering.

And Cath said, "I bet your family didn't like it when you were like that with the kids."

I said, I have never done this with any child."

I generally adapt to the child.

But when I would go into a family event and the kids were excited the one controller would say, "Terri, don't get them riled up."

All I did was walk in the room.

We cheer loudly for sports , why not scream and cheer for a child learning to spell and read.
3:12 pm
An Apparition of God at McDonald's

He smiles, his eyes brighten big as
the corner of his lips go upward.

He waves to me now, his first
friendly winter hello, made me
lower m
y eyes to say, ‘I come here to
be alone”  Today, after coming here
on the weekends for months alone, the
manager asked, "Don't you usually get
an English Muffin?"  I muttered, "I
forgot my peanut butter."   I turn.
His steadfast happiness says hello.
ask, “How are you?”   The others
who come in regularly also respond
to his welcoming.   His eyes go away
in reverie when no one is there to say
hello.   I sit across the room studying
writing with closed captions turned on
my Netlfix, and he sits there by a muted
CNN smiling in his reverie, he is some
place free and filled with joy, what if he
Is the face of God dropped down to earth
to offer the weary joyful pots.  He rocks on
to the elevator music above his head  to
move his head slightly to a Beatle's tune
of , "All We Need Is Love"  He takes in all
things wonderful while terrorists take the
24 hour news cycle hostage  on the tv.
He doesn't see our miserable choices of
greed and bleed.  He sees us as creations.
He takes in all that is good, including
humans who try to ignore him like we
do any good God that appears to save.


Friday, September 23rd, 2016
9:37 am
9:35 am
Hey, what have you done to free Leonard Peltier out on the reservation
Great novice master?

Here is what Jackson Brown is doing with others......funny I never knew that I liked Browne's music because this high school druggie who was superficial went to his concerts so I figured he was superficial like her.

And then I discovered his soul and i can listen to his songs and feel Ghost.

9:27 am
9:22 am
The brave Kris Kristopherson
Men can be healing.

I think of Kris Kristoferson.   Ken was the first to tell me about it when it happened after  Sinead O'Connor ripped up the photograph of Pope John Paul II on Saturday Night Live.  I can remember these white men claiming offfense on tv shows.

I knew she was in pain.  It was a decade before all of the scandals came out in the Catholic Church.

Anyway, Ken told me that Sinead O'Connor was opening up for Bob Dylan 30th anniversary in  and all of the groupies who have no right to claim his lyrics as their own after they booed her.  (It did come out later that she was abused in the Catholic Church)  and Ken said she stood there as they booed and Kris Kristopherson walked out on the stage to hug her.  He held her against their boos.  He said of the groupies, "Don't let the bastards get you down."

That moment of Ken telling me that gave me hope in certain men.  Oh the groupies are conformists they ar perfect people.   They are spiritual frauds.  Kris Kristophreson went on to write a song, "Sister Sinead."

Before the scandals were outted by the brave, I found out that a nun had seduced a 20 year old at Clarke the same year that Carol Blitgen was told she could not do Agnes of God as a play becausse the Catholics would not give money to the school per Catherine Dunn.  Then, Catherine Dunn who has a Phd in Education told the victim that the professor of a nun said it was consensual.

People with Education Phd's are taught that there is a power differential in professor and student relationships. 

Yesterday I was in the company of a man.  And I spoke of Monica lewinski.  I am so used to white women not doing a thing to stick up for her.  Margaret Carlson while with Time Magazine said on tv, 'My daughter would never do that..."  Oh dear Margaret how do you know and if she wouldn't (and by the way Fritz Mondale's daughter reportedly fucked Bill Clinton at the same time he was fucking Lewinski) why wouldn't she?

And so this man said about Lewinski,    Bill Clinton ruined her life, she was only 21 and she dind't know what she was doing.  The man said that Clinton was her boss and she fell in love with him.

That man who said that is brave and strong and thinks for himself because white women like Glioria Steinem did nothing for Lewinski.

This year is the worst political year ever with Clinton and Trump.

But I am grateful to men and women who can think for themselves.
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