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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in written source's LiveJournal:

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    Saturday, December 20th, 2014
    12:45 pm
    This is why they were stranded in Panama City
    UNITED AIRLINES SUCKS!!!!! LOADED THE PLANE BFORE THEY REALIZED THERE IS NO ONE HERE TO FLY THE PLANE

    I went to the open air restaurant in Colombia on the way back to the United States that Patrick writes of below.

    Mom put her bun on a wood table I picked it up and said, "Don't put that there you can get sick."

    I am the one who ended up with salmonella and then the pneumonia.

    Originally she didn't want to go to the wedding and Patrick asked, "Do you think Terri would want to go?"

    He told me mom said, 'Oh, then I'll go."

    I remember flying in over the rain forest; extraordinary.

    And the good news from Fargo is that the baby is going home from the hospital from Minneapolis.

    Every thing that could go wrong with a spina bfida baby has NOT gone wrong with her.

    She has renewed our faith.

    I feel Bert Thelen's prayers for me.

    I woke up last week feeling the prayers of many for me. Thank you. May all of you be blessed with a joy and happiness this month.

    In the morning I play murder ball with the kids. They don't know we called it murder ball in school but I use their clothes instead of a ball so that I can get them motivated to dress.

    I never get them and they love that.

    I tell the 2nd grader, "You are a galaxy waiting to happen and I am going to hit you and you will explode into stars."

    He has this amazing mind and he now says with joy on his own, "I am a galaxy waiting to happen."

    May all of us feel that this season no matter what our personal faith expression is. !

    Peace
    12:36 pm
    Patrick wrote us from Colombia (Nico just turned 2)
    so happy to here the great news in fargo. its going to be a special Christmas. our visit started out with a bang lastnight. we stopped for chicharon and frijoles at my favorite open air restaurant on the way back from the airport. they had a traditional Colombian band playing. Alejandra had told me how nuts nico is for music but it was incredible to watch him mesmorized, playing air guitar unconsciously totally oblivious to all but the music. Alejandra could not break his focus. just wait until Dylan breaks out his guitar tonight at the Novena. it is so cool. the 9 nights leading up to Christmas there is a party in a different house in the in the family. a short mass by Beatriz' brother carlos, followed by snacks and a lot of love and fun. so happy I am able to give this experience to Dylan and Alejandra Dylan said on the way down, "i know Alejandra is really cool and special, but now I am older and I am sure after this trip we will be much closer." I am as happy as I could possibly be. I love you
    12:15 pm
    Dear Jim Grummer, SJ and Company
    Jesus loves you but he doesn't like what you have done to my life.
    12:11 pm
    They won't allow me access to help an 86 year old woman
    My new phone I bought would not work. I charged it. I put in the sim card would not work. I drove to ATT on East Washington and as soon as I walked into the store it worked.

    You see, they have my car on a gps system and the businesses will display if they want when I stop my car so they knew that I was parked right in front of ATT.

    I walked in and it didn't work until within seconds it did.

    This means I have to buy two junk phones for my trip to my sisters because they will mess with my phone.

    I am my mother's life line and they would not allow me access to her all week.

    The great novice master's martyrdom is bullshit.
    Friday, December 19th, 2014
    6:03 pm
    Hola Bonjour Hello
    Patrick and Dylan are stranded in Panama City on their way to Medellin Colombia to see Alejandra and her family. I have no idea why they are stranded

    I went to Medellin for Alejandra's wedding.

    Dylan is going to do a show in Colombia.

    I was there. It's beautiful. And now I have learned little sentences to say to Nico (my great nephew) when I meet him.

    I am around Spanish Speaking kids in the morning and they have issues with my lack of accent. I laugh.

    Alejandra told me when she was in 2nd grade when I spoke Spanish, 'Terri, you sound French."

    My Spanish teacher at Clarke called me, "Frenchie" before Alejandra was even born.
    4:02 pm
    P.S Dear Stalkers
    When I tell my mom, it has been confirmed. I have said it since day one because my perception thing freeks her out too, just like it does you.

    So to relax her I say, It has been confirmed. And then I can go on with my truth.
    4:00 pm
    And so this is Chrstmas
    I have been the recipient of the generosity of spirit from others.

    It was topped off by Ted Tyson writing me that he is playing in Guys on Ice at the Barrymore and will leave me two free tickets.

    I googled the show and the first link showed the Wisconsin Gazette so I thought it was going to be a show on gay male ice skaters. But not in Wisconsin, it's about ice fishing and though I am sure there are gay ice fishers there will be on silver skating in this show.

    http://www.wisconsingazette.com/on-stage/guys-on-ice-is-quintessential-wisconsin-theater.html

    I feel Christmas inside of me.

    Ted was one of the first people I met at Clarke. I told my friend from Japan who was a vocal major, "Just think we are all under the same stars."

    It just was a year of grace. Pre meeting of the great novice master.

    Ted wrote:

    It's a funny and warm show with beautiful music. I don't sing too much, but the two leads are stellar and their voices blend together amazingly. We've gotten standing ovations for the first two performances
    Thursday, December 18th, 2014
    3:59 pm
    Christmas
    Last night I drove to see Mom because of the phone situation.

    I drove there thinking about past Christmases when I had this incredible joy inside of me. And I was sad that I didn't feel it.

    I got to her home and I got out of the car to look up at the stars like I always do and I was home and I felt Christmas inside of me. It looks as if the stars drop down to touch the earth where she lives and I grew up.

    Then, I went in to see her. She quoted poetry to me as she has done all of my life.

    I said, "I wrote a poem today."

    She quoted the words by Joyce Kilmer, "Any fool can write a poem but only God can make a tree."

    I smiled.

    I told her I am getting rid of cable but will miss Bill Maher. She said she would get HBO and I could watch it at her house.

    I said, 'Yes, I could write in my place during the week and watch tv on the weekends.'

    We just had a good conversation.

    I told her the wonders of things kids say. This morning I was having kids eat breakfast without toys.

    One said, 'You are mean."

    I said, 'yes, I am mean."

    The other said, "You are fired."

    They were all smiling and I smiled back. They never tell me, "You aren't the boss" anymore.

    One of the best moments of the week was when one of them asked, "Can you bring your glasses so you can read to me in the morning."

    I always used to read to him.

    So the next day I read to him and he smiled, "Now, we are back to our ritual."

    A little girl sang two songs to me. She has a beautiful voice and doesn't know it.

    I told Mom last night, "Mom, I have what I wanted. I always wanted to be close to you and I am."

    My dad used to drive into Shullsburg with me in the car and say with a smile and joy in his voice as we looked at the village, "Why it's like riding into Bethlehem."

    I went to Shullsburg last night and I found Christmas inside of me. I love the place.
    Wednesday, December 17th, 2014
    4:47 pm
    My controlling Stalkers
    I sent my sister a facebook message this morning to let my mom know that my cousin will pick her up at noon tomorrow to get Mom's hair cut.

    I sent the message and it is no where in sight.

    Your game is to thwart any communication with my mother because that is beyond evil.

    But she's independent at 86.

    This little stalking of my life was started by their street thug attorney (up for disbarment again) E. Michael McCann who was involved in the scandal not charging the angry male with forgery because DiUlio reportedly told McCann that a case involving homosexuality would not be good for the university and also by the want to be climber who is a non charismatic bore who cheated himself out of a Stanford Education, Jim Doyle.

    And this is where you are? Not allowing any contact with my mother?

    For those of you not in the know the shadow my internet accounts.

    They want me to contact Jesuits or Marquette so they can say I stalked them.

    I have no desire to contact them.

    I knew when Mat Gleason was in my life that I had to make noise, get the attention, let them think I was crazy and then get the truth out.

    So I would say I won.

    All you want is to be purposely unjust and to harass me so that the chemically imbalanced woman will blow.

    Aint going to happen.
    4:40 pm
    The need for control can be deadly
    I have wondered why Andrew Steele killed his wife and her sister. Why the sister? Well, I researched and the D.A. said that 36 hours before the killings he signed his will and he also spoke to his parents on childcare.

    Maybe he secretly thought that life with his parents would be better for his kids and maybe feared that the sister of the wife would get the kids.

    Instead his parents have the kids out of state.
    3:33 pm
    The Teacher Student power differential
    I just changed the last two words of the poem below. Seeing the 2 cardinals and the sparrow in front that forced my car to stop on Few Street had never happened to me. The cardinals insisted on being on my path and I had to stop until the 3 birds in a triangle left.

    Some people believe that birds can be angels. When I was to move out of Milwaukee I said to my mom, "I will miss the birds." Sparrows visited my window sill. I became attached to them and I found out later that angels can be sent as birds. That was in 1999 and they had me in total isolation. The last word of the poem plays on sounds and alludes to angels.

    I used to walk the streets of Milwaukee thinking of my poems trying to find the beat and the rhythm of them. So today I did think of the poem and came back to fix it.

    Milwaukee was an ugly town. All concrete; my creative friends hated it. I know getting rid of my cable will not only get me off of internet for all of you who gawk at me but it will cause me to finish my novels. I'll pretend I am in ugly Milwaukee.

    I called my mom from a different person's phone. She said, "You sound down."

    I said, 'I am down; I can't talk to you; they won't let my phones work." They have used my phones as microphones and now they won't let me use the phones at all. How likely is it that two different phones have the same problem at the same time?

    Basically I have a bunch of Mitt Romney's on me. Really, do you know that the FBI runs programs to hire Mormons. Now can you imagine a Mormon man liking me?

    Even if the person behind this case on me isn't a literal Mormon; the mindset is the same. They have demonized me.

    So about the homophobic scandal?

    It was unbelievable. How could priests do that to each other? Using an angry male to stalk one of their brothers? It blew me away.
    The two investigating psychologists cleared Father Roach of any wrong doing so the angry male and a Jesuit said they sent the materials on Roach to the Vatican. The Cardinal there would have consulted the Jesuit Curia and Frank Case, SJ was in the position that Jim Grummer is now.

    Frank Case reportedly told Father Roach, It is a heterosexual world.

    Then, Father Thelen told me, "Teresa, Father Roach will never teach in a university again."

    That's what they did to him. It was on innuendo and homophobia. I was letting Thelen know what was going on after I saw that they were not putting the great things people were saying of Roach in the report.

    So the angry male was hired to tutor Marquette basketball players. I told Father Roach that the angry male said that he looked up the shorts of one of the basketball players.

    Father Thelen said, "Oh Teresa, x is needy."

    The thing is that the "needy" male was in a teacher student relationship trying to get Roach on anything he could and yet he is the one who crossed the lines by saying he looked up the shorts of the basketball player he was hired by the University to tutor.

    I had a brother who met the "needy" male and my brother said, 'You know he thinks people don't like him because he's gay. People don't like him because he's obnoxious."

    About DiUlio, I had a brother who said after DiUlio was forced to resign over this, "Well, Al DiUlio is finally getting what he deserves. I could tell you things about him you wouldn't believe."

    I had no idea my brother knew DiUlio.

    So here we are.

    I am driving home to see my mom tonight because I can't talk to her on my phones; they won't let me.

    They love it when I am isolated.
    10:32 am
    Nature's God
    On a day when no hope finds its way
    into the clouds of gray, my car
    stopped for two protesters for my faith,
    cardinals, the woody beauty of the
    female kind, stilled me. No two birds
    have ever demanded that I stop my car
    to watch them be. Then, a third bird
    joined in, a sparrow of ordinary time
    to form an equilateral Church in mime.
    Church themes abound on that ground
    and I sighed, "A Christmas Trinity"
    where the ordinary and the natural of
    non showy female cardinal call me back
    to the Advent light of hope, faith and
    love. Nature's God reaches out to save.
    The hierarchy replaced by angled wings.

    t.doyle
    12/17/14
    Tuesday, December 16th, 2014
    7:39 pm
    Oh, dear boy, you have reason to be jealous of Ghost
    It's on the internet that he is one of the few male eco feminists in the world.

    And my mom met him and said, 'I like that guy. (14 years ago)

    And when he co writes with women on articles, you can't detect his voice, he doesn't fight for the attention. He's not like you.

    She can still imitate your stance from a sighting of you. She was not impressed.

    About Dr. Ulrich, she said, 'You can trust him."

    You are a pathetic passive aggressive monster who manufactured a false martyrdom out of your cruelty to a sensitive soul because you were took weak to do anything on your own.

    Clearly your brother outshines you.
    7:32 pm
    God visits the Maids
    You turned me into a voice.

    People read here.

    And women support me.

    It's like being in Father Roach's class after I would tell him what I thought on women's isssues, women told me, "Teresa, we thought what you thought but we were afraid to say it."

    Why ? Afraid you would end up as a maid like Zora Neale Hurston.

    oh there is freedom in being a maid.
    7:23 pm
    The Pattern Has been established
    Well another night that I am not allowed to call my mother from my home because they have shut down my cell phones. The phones are like computers and have their own digital identification. The idea is that if I can't get to my mother I will blow up and if only I would finally blow up they could get me if only I would finally threaten someone.

    They have been waiting for that when I used to displace my anger over what the corrupt were doing onto the ever smiling Ken Starr, oh yeah, it has been going on that long.

    Let's go over what I did. I read from an ethics book on Ethics and Legal Issues in the Helping Profession because his abuse was unethical. I was taking the class at Marquette and it was painful that I was reading what he did to me. So I read from it on his answering machine.

    Poor him, he says, "I have trouble with women." Yeah, he gives mixed messages to them, uses them up to listen to him, and then resents them.

    His pattern is established of trying to get people whom I like or respect.

    He went to my oldest brother. The reason? I never had a negative thing to say about my oldest brother and I sent him my poems.

    The great novice master (and don't you appreciate the sexual connotations of being a novice master) well I told him, "I don't like you."

    He blew up, "I don't need you to like me."

    Yet, he wouldn't let me go and he still won't. He has access to my private life the way many of you do.

    By the way, I am not a hoarder at all. I am not into things. I simply go into that place and shut down though I have been organizing it. And it's great to see that they still go in there.

    I leave them traps and they always bite the bait.

    I don't bite theirs.

    This has been going on since 1996, I exposed the scandal after trying to stop it internally at the end of July 1995.

    My brother who was asked to go to M.I.T listened to the tapes, oh I learned to tape after the great novice master tried to destroy me. And my brother said, "Terri, you have them by the balls."

    mmmmmm now isn't that a patriarchal pain.

    My brother said, "I can't believe my sister pulled this off."

    So it is not about stalking. It's about his revenge that I don't like him and their revenge that I have them on tape regarding homophobia. Do you know Roach had fellow Jesuits telling a jilted lover who blamed Roach for the break up which car Roach had signed out for later in the day or the weekend?

    Jeez they can't even get me for extortion because I don't want any of their money.

    Imagine that, they are just for my protection nothing more.

    So the great Novice Master called my therapist and she said to him, "Did you ever think that maybe you are the one with the problem, Father?"

    Oh, but he oh so delights in my writing here because he gets to be sad and he is now the special martyr that his mother wanted him to be when she read him about the saints when he was a little boy.

    But his brother, well he seems to be the real deal.

    The great novice master said after he went to Florida to see his brother after his brother's heart attack that the brother was a failure. The great novice master stayed with the brother's ex wife because she insisted. And well he slept in the niece's room while his mother slept in the fold out couch. He has no clear boundaries. His mother was not happy being with the woman who divorced her son and he has no loyalty to anyone but how he looks to outsiders.

    So, he came back to report to me that the brother did not have a good job. He said, It's not a good job, he's a golf pro.

    He wanted his brother to be a sports writer. He said, "I have read things in the sports section and thought this is crap, he could do so much better."

    And listen to this, the Uncle was a retired board chairman of the newspaper in Milwaukee so the "failure" of the younger brother could have gotten a position easily in the newspaper business.

    And also those of you outside of Catholic Culture do not know that if you are the niece or nephew of a Jesuit you get to go to Jesuit Universities for free.

    And none of the younger brother's kids went to a Jesuit University for free.,

    They have ROTC, one of the kids likes to kill people for the government and corporations wanting to make money.

    Do I seem angry?

    I think he is disgusting.

    Now, to continue his pattern they are focused on people in my building.

    You see, it would kill the great novice master that I found a Helga Project in Ghost.

    Just as he went to my brother (who in the end told one of my brother's) "Terri's a success because no matter now many setbacks she has; she always strives to understand herself."

    I finally told my mom that he went to my brother a few years back and she said, "Nobody controls what Tom thinks."

    Sp now because I Found life inside of my writing focusing on the way this man lived his life you want to get him too.

    You know, they are on the people in my building. They know they didn't indicate or tell me anything but it is there way of keeping me isolated.

    That's the great Jesuit game when it comes to me.

    You see, Ghost is his opposite. He has long honey hair, and a masculine mustache that looks like a forest of many colors and he has this masculinity and his hands have been shaped by the earth because he gardens. And he went to Mexico to teach women how to make honey.

    He doesn't live a hierarchy with animals. He is a vegan.

    I found this on my research of him and watching him.

    He's beautiful.

    He is a tree protector. I found that out by looking at box that came to his mail last week, it was in the hall way and it said it was for tree protection.

    I read in his book that he receives chestnut trees to plant.

    I believe my dad put him there so I would have a muse.

    He took over my writing. For the first time I saw that hair could be a halo because the light follows him.

    He would never tell his mother, "Mother if you don't clean this up I am not visiting any more."

    I remember telling my mother that the great novice master told his mother that back in the 90's and she sneered the same sneer she did the other night when I told her that Pope Francis said that Europe was barren like an old grandmother.

    You harass the people in my building with your stalking. They don't tell me, you do.

    You have told me things for years hoping I would finally blow.

    It's not going to happen.

    I will now go to bed at 7 or 8 at night when I get there and I will get rid of cable.

    But about his younger brother?

    Well, he seems to see right through crap; he didn't use the connection with the powerful uncle to be a sports writer and he didn't have his kids take a free Jesuit education. (it's on facebook) I never look on their facebook.

    I looked once. Said it from my condo and that's how I found out the great novice master has access to my privacy too.

    You are sick. Really sick.

    And I am free.

    I told you in Berkely, "You will not destroy me" And you won't.

    Oh about his powerful uncle, the great novice master was so happy that his powerful uncle showed for the Baccalaureate Mass in 1983. It was the nephew's last mass before he went off to be the great novice master and well, the uncle was a protestant.

    So the great novice master wrote his mother's obituary and name dropped the uncle's family saying how she so enjoyed them.

    That was so all those in the status world would know he was from good blood.

    You see, his dad had to be a commercial artist because with a family how can one be an artist. And there was shame that they had no money.

    He's up in the Jesuits because he is a dick boy not because he has money.

    I am his manufactured martyrdom. He created me, abusing me, I would rebel and he knew I would and it allowed him to have his martyrdom that he so wanted at his mother's knee.

    God, I do believe Ted Tyson would say, "Her writing is just so good, I couldn't quit reading them."

    That's what he told my brother.

    I offered you peace in 1996 before you came after me. I wrote the Jesuits and said, "I am sorry for my part and I am sure you are sorry for yours."

    You want to destroy me.

    And the fact that you are keeping me from my mother via the phone shows how evil you are.


    But hey going after the people in my building, oh yeah we have new FBI people where I live, they decided that they needed to stage a Christmas scene and then 11's banana boy purposely let me know last week and then of course we have Jerry Garcia want to be.

    This is your legacy

    Your brother has a soul and can clearly see through crap.

    You are a name dropper out of your sense of shame.

    You are the worst thing that ever happened to my life.

    Oh and my lawyer told me in Miwlaukee, I have had many cases against Marquette University and they will do anything to try to win a case.

    My psychiatrist at the time said, "I have seen them destroy professionals lives."

    Hahaha, you can't destroy a poet's life !~
    Monday, December 15th, 2014
    4:52 pm
    A Sign from Santa
    I saw Santa over the sky of Shullsburg when I was a kid. My dad said, "There he is." I looked up and I saw the sleigh, the reindeer and Santa.

    I used to pray, "Dear God, do not ever give me an apparition because I could not handle it."

    Then, in my late 40's I realized that Santa had been the apparition that God gave me.

    For the first time since I was a child I prayed to Santa last night, "Please give me a sign of Christmas."

    I went to facebook a few minutes ago and a woman who is kind and generous like Santa sent me a message from Santa. It touched on all the themes for which I prayed.

    She was used to answer that prayer.

    I believe that.

    They are pouring it on me. They won't let me use my cell phone which is cruel because I have an 86 year old mother that I need to call to check in with.

    All for homophobia.

    I told them, "That fact that you continue to harass me with clear unjust acts shows that you know I only protest that which isn't right."

    Mitch Vesaas said, "Teresa has the fairness gene."

    The great novice master said, 'You are holier than most."

    That was the week before he said, "You are nobody special."

    And Dr. Ulrich said, 'And you should have told him, that's what makes me a saint."

    Clearly he struggled within himself regarding me. The mother he always wanted to strangle was projected onto me.

    I used to say to him because he didn't see me, "I exist."

    I see no greatness in harassing a person with a chemical imbalance. Cutting my phone off and cutting off dental services at Marquette when I did nothing to deserve that.

    Oh the goal? They want me to call and say something.

    I won't.

    I told them today, "I fought the best when I was a kid, my brothers, nothing was given, you had to earn it. And they are brilliant so you will never defeat me."

    I feel sad for people who are forced to be part of this in the past 17 years. You terrorize them for homophobia. That what's you do.
    Saturday, December 13th, 2014
    8:52 am
    We remain comfortable with sexism in a way we don't tolerate other isms
    Pope Francis unnoticed female analogies/comments:

    1. "...he called female theologians, strawberries on the cupcake"

    2. "comparing Europe's cultural and economic decline to a grandmother who is no longer fertile."

    3. "Be a mother and not an old maid."

    4. "I am wary of masculinity in a skirt"

    5. "The fact is woman was taken from a rib"

    6. "Pastors often end up under the authority of their housekeepers"

    7. "The Church acts more like a spinster than a mother." "The joy of the Church is to give birth."


    http://www.cruxnow.com/church/2014/12/10/lost-in-translation-7-reasons-some-women-wince-when-pope-francis-starts-talking/

    And also he refers to homosexuality themes in relation to gay men. You see, the Church doesn't care if women are homosexual because women have no role in the Church.

    In 1998 3 percent of tenured professors at Marquette University were female. (Jesuits were not the norm of teaching, generally they were just in the theology department.)

    A tenured female professor said that they see men as the doers and women as the cheerleaders.

    We remain comfortable with sexism. If he had said anything racist or homophobic there would be an uproar, but not with sexism. Women must spread their legs, give birth and enjoy the pain.

    I'd rather have Jimmy Carter or Bert Thelen as Pope.

    Jimmy Carter's recent book: A Call To Action: Women, Religion, Violence and Power.

    Bert Thelen's exit letter from the Jesuits addresses women's issues: http://ncronline.org/blogs/ncr-today/veteran-jesuit-explains-choice-return-lay-life
    6:18 am
    Is Mat Gleason's war on the latent artist, Thomas Kinkade, a war on himself?
    An article written by Mat Gleason popped up by chance last week. The google search that found the article involved George Bush's art.

    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/mat-gleason/george-bush-thomas-kinkade_b_5157178.html

    Gleason compared and contrasted the work/approach of Bush's art to Thomas Kinkade's art. He acknowledged Kinkade's technique but asserted that Bush's imagination lifted Bush's art to a higher level. Gleason also compared their lives suggesting that George Bush got sober and became president and now is finding his way to art; whereas, Kinkade died an alcoholic; a comparison that suggests that if only Kinkade had stretched his imagination he would have thrived internally. Nothing is mentioned of the possible grandiosity of Bush's declaration to his art instructor, "there is a Rembrandt trapped inside of me..."

    Gleason does not touch on the different economic backgrounds of Bush and Kinkade. Bush grew up in wealth. Thomas Kinkade grew up in poverty in the 1950's in a single parent household because his parents divorced, and at that time, divorces were not prevalent.

    It's interesting because when I met Mat Gleason the poor versus rich theme played out. I was cooking at the Union at Clarke. I asked a friend about the guy making noise, "Who is that guy?" I put my rag back into the bucket of water to continue to wipe down tables.

    The friend said, "Some rich kid from California. He goes to the seminary."

    I felt a wall go up in me, "A rich bold kid from California."

    I went behind the counter to do work and suddenly the rich kid from California said to my t shirt, "Hey why are friends like flowers?"

    I said, "Because they die."

    The wind was nocked out of him.

    I said, "I am sorry I thought you were being a smart ass."

    We became friends when he left the seminary to attend Clarke.

    What Mat misses in his analysis of Kinkade's intention as an artist is poverty. He doesn't get how it chases you down and follows you causing a fear and pain that can paralyze. Gleason, himself, endured financial stress as an adult but that is different from having an identity as being poor as a child. kinkade said of his own childhood poverty that he was embarrassed and felt shame from the identity.

    Twelve years ago I stood at the gate of Sherman Terrace and I looked up at the stars and said, "You have got to send me somebody; I am dying out here."

    The next night I found Mat on internet via his blog. I was not looking for him.

    When I knew him he believed anyone could do art. He painted two spontaneous paintings in the Mary Josita Lounge at Clarke in front of me suggesting anyone could find his/her power as an artist. He entitled one of the paintings, "Deity" I kept it for years because it was a sweet, innocent painting by a teenage boy who believed.

    My analysis on Gleason is that there is still a teenage boy inside of him that believes but who got hurt and he puts that grief on the work of Kinkade basically presenting the case over and over that Kinkade is a latent artist. I have to wonder if Gleason himself isn't the latent artist.

    He saved my life. He gave me this blog when it had to be purchased. He wrote, I think you need this.

    I feared it because "they" wanted to get me.

    I was dead when we reconnected just long enough for him to give me this live journal.

    And then, survival means doing it on your own.

    During our reconnection, he recalled the time we were in the cafeteria and I said, "There is so much anger in you."

    He said, "Terri Doyle, you are just like my mother."

    I asked, "Would your mother throw this iced water at you?"

    He said with all of the innocence of an unsuspecting boy, "No."

    I picked up the glass of iced water to throw it in his face and I put the glass down to shrug, "See, I am nothing like your mother."

    Then, I got up to run away and he stood in the middle of the cafeteria drenched with water yelling "Terri Doyle, I can't believe you just did that."

    Fast forward to 2002 and he found me dead. He would push me and I would resist. I was full of anxiety and dread. I had the most powerful on me before the scandals of the Church came out.

    He would push me. He said things like, "Now that's the feisty Terri I remember."

    One day he just pushed too hard and I let him have it. I threw all the anger I had for patriarchy who were stalking me against him.

    I called my mother and said, "He just kept pushing me and pushing me."

    She said, "He was good for you."

    He then used the word against me that the FBI uses against me so I figured they went to him. We parted.

    He ranted against Thomas Kinkade back then and the article last week shows that he still does it.

    He doesn't get that poverty can change you forever. It makes people go for security over the unknown trip of a pure artist.

    I now wonder if he isn't ranting against Kinkade as a latent artist because Gleason is a latent visual artist himself.
    Friday, December 12th, 2014
    10:02 pm
    Please send $5.00 to a Republican Party Candidate.
    You will then receive Republican material and even get on a republican poll list and when they call to ask you if you would like Mitt Romney to run you can say, Yes.

    May he run, run, run so we can have fun, fun, fun.
    9:55 pm
    Psychedelic Mushrooms Grow in the Queen of England's Garden
    It's to help with her Annus Horribilis.

    Truly the year that it came out that Diana and Charles were breaking up the queen said, It has been an annus horribilis.

    Now just imagine what Scott Walker could do with a homynym on that.

    Anyway I cracked up laughin and to this day if I try to imitate her I start laughing because it sounds vulgar and she was being proper which makes the contrast cracks me up.

    I do her Julia Child voice to my mom and make my mom laugh !
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