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|Thursday, June 30th, 2016|
|Your Sermon On The Mount
For Ghost, a permaculturist among other things
For years without speaking a word, you have preached
care for the earth. You walk out barefoot on a padded
down path from your feet after years of tending to the
greens that pop up and that you plant. Butterflies come
now, and the birds of color stop by longer than at other
places around the brick buildings that would look like
prison dorms without the trees and greens. Your sermons
on your mount of dirt, say blessed are those who care
for the earth for they shall reap peace of mind, along with
mushrooms for their zuchinin spaghetti. You say nothing
you simply tend to the earth in a world no one enters when
you stand before your kingdom of plants, shwoing your
spies what it means to be one with nature, not above,
not below, but of nature. Your sermons on your mount
of dirt blurt out the most important lesson of them alll,
blessed are those who tend to the earth with soiled love
for they shall inherit the peace of sod, heaven's earth.
|Keeping the Faith
Oh my gosh, this fait stuff works.
So I listen to Joel Osteen, the basic message is self empowerment through faith in God/Jesus.
I bring some of my Catholicism with me.
My favorite prayer is the Hail Mary.
Hail Mary Full of Grace
the Lord is with Thee
Blessed are thou among women
and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus.
Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for our
sins now and at the hour of our death Amen.
My favorite line is "Mother of God" No other religion (other than Epsicopalians) call Mary the Mother of God.
The Irish who refused to be romanized by the Church are the ones who would not let go of Mary being the Mother of God. A Jesuit said in theology class that when Mary was ascended into Heaven the Trinity actually became a Quadrinity.
I interrupted his train of thought to say, "That is hopeful for feminism.
The class laughed because I had said the "f' word "feminism" in front of a conservative Jesuit and he blinked his eyes having his train of thought interrupted and he said, "Yes, Yes. You see, we must just peel the layers away, Mary enters the Trinity and it became a Quadrinity and then we will enter it and it becomes Infinity."
So I am still Catholic but I listen to Osteen's messages constatnly on Siirius XM. I am surrounded by positive energy.
So recently I had a small challenge of faith. I over drew on my account and I told Mom so I could talk about it and she wanted to fix it and I said, no i just need to talk about it. I don't over draw.
I said to her and Cath and myself, "I am just going to let it go."
I did let it go and I saw that though the bank charged me I wasn't charged from the place that caused the over draw, so I asked the clerk about it today.
I said, "About that 30.00 fee a few weeks ago?"
Before I could ask her to explain if they went ahead and paid the fees she said, 'Oh, it looks like they held some funds and it doesn't look like you do that much so I am going to refund it to you."
I said, 'Thank you so much, I was never expecting that."
So now I have gas money to go to the 4th .
Joel Osteen gives example after example of when we live in faith with a positive attitude that things like this happens.
I was blown away by it.
So anyway life is wonderful these days. This is the first time in years that i have looked forward to a 4th of July weekend with a sense of celebration.
I got to see the kids today and I went back to get my money and the one little guy left there said, "You scared me. I thought you were a robber." I asked< "A robber who rings the doorbell?"
I generally don't ring the doorbell becuase most are sleeping when I get there in the morning but they weren't expecting me, the two lef tthere today so I am sure he noticed the change with my ringing the doorbell.
I love these kids.
I wish everyone the happiness and joy of life ! I have my dad's joy and when I listen to Joel Osteen, I hear things my dad said like, "If you don't have anything good to say about someone, don't say it."
That's actually in the Old Testament.
I am amazed at the wisdon of the ages in the old testatment.
|Wednesday, June 29th, 2016|
|The generous gods
I got $75.00 off on a swim suit and paid $64.00 for it.
Cath is going camping in Broadhead with her family this weekend at Crazy Horse, which I never even heard of before, and so I needed a new suit to go workout in the pool there.
I called her today and I said, 'I am just relaxed, Joel is really helping me."
She laughed because of the tone of voice I used.
I said, "He's a little sexist."
She laughed and said, 'Yes he is."
I said, "But I just do what Larry Hopwood told me he does when he listens to a client, he waved his hand above his head to say, 'I just let them go on until I can hear the place where I can ask the strength based question.' So I simply wave my hand to Joel's sexist talk and consider his sexist audience and take the postives for my life."
I am at great place inside of myself and I am grateful to the generous gods !
|Sexism ensures Terrorism
Someone told me that someone he knows was going to leave Turkey because it is no longer safe and then the next day the attack happened.
Finally last night, Chris Matthews said on Hardball that his show was going to cover the migration issue involved U.K"s decision to back out of the European Union. Up to this point, I had only heard this side of it from the person I know.
Today, I told a little boy how happy the head of a camp was to see him yesterday and it was as if he did't believe it.
He repeated, "She sure was happy to see me, wasn't she, Teresa?"
I said, "Yes, she was."
Sexism creates low self esteem in women. These women can then have children who can affect attachment in the womb and outside of the womb. The lack of attachment can then affect the child in a way that s/he or does not even understand.
I used to sit patiently back for sexism to be eradicated, rationalizing well if they help the poor they are helping women.
Sexism is a matter of international policy because these cultures that teach girls to feel like second class citizens then raise daughters to feel like second class citizens and then they raise boys and are detached from them and those boys can turn out to be 3 year old bullies inside of an adult man terrorizing the world, terrorizing women and children.
We can't sit back to allow sexism to be acceptable in comparison to other "isms"
Palestine practices sexism every single day and also homophobia because you see the stereotype of the feminine is in the mind of the homophobic person.
This child has no idea that people love and miss him all because a birth parent had no self esteem.
I decided that there is enough negativity in the world and my job is to tell him what he is and have him tell me who he is until he grows to understand what a marvel he is.
He's on a journey.
We all are on a journey.
|Tuesday, June 28th, 2016|
I have the great fortune of working with a child who is on the autism spectrum. He is joy. His aid at summer camp told me, "The others are jealous because I get to be with him."
Today I got to his crowded camp to hear, "Hi, Terri !"
He has a beautiful voice and he is joy.
He said, "Can I go home?"
The camp counselor said, 'He says that as soon as he gets here."
So I told him he had body movement class though I used the initials of the place where we go and then I said, "Then, you can go home."
So I drove him to the other side of town and I wait and then I went in an hour later thinking he would be ready to go home.
He was sitting on the floor with isolation head phones on These head phones lower noise by 2 decibells and he said, "I want to take my head phones.'
He did not want to give them up.
So we walked upstairs with them and then I gave them to the desk assuring him we would tell his mother and maybe she would get him some.
He was fighting sadness in teh car. Changes are hard for him and he's had to adjust to an all day out in the community life which is good but it's been hard for him. Today he was sad to leave the peace of those isolation head phones.
The first time we went to the body movment class two weeks ago I looked in the back and I said, 'You seem sad."
He said with a teariness, "I am very sad. I don't have any friends."
I said, 'I love you."
So the next week they said the first day they were finding their way and indeed today he spoke of his new friends in the class.
And last week when i took him, he turned his face and put himself into my stomach the way I used to do with my Aunt Mary when she had to leave.
I stood as tall and strong for him as she did for me.
He did it today too. It's like when he sees me I am a rock for him in a changing world of his routine.
This kid is a gift to the world. He is so smart and he picks up on everything. Today the world was a little LESS noisy for him and he was just at peace.
I tend to be good with kids with autism; even when I worked in the mental health field I could reach the slient ones because of my mother. I had to read sublte cues as a kid to understand her.
She's on the spectrum and she's out in teh world without me at times and I hear her strength on the phone and her vulnerability.
She's a genius. I don't like how in laws treated her. I saw it all.
My dad used to say, 'You are the most loyal Doyle."
The judgemental never got taht when they treated my mother terribly I put up walls.
But I was not allowed to have voice or I would be outcasted so when you take away someone's voice she eventuallly will say it all once what she thinks and feels.
Religions and patriarchs like to shut voices down.
I tend to be positive. A soon to be 4th grader has been up and about when I am getting his sister ready for camp and I have said to him 2 days in a rown, "You aren't doing anything wrong, you are just so interesting so can you leave so she will dress."
And he stands taller and he levaes the room.
This positive stuff works. It works.
Today after working out I went home and I chopped up red, orange and yellow peppers and mushrooms and then I added riced cauliflower and I scrambled and egg.
And because of Permaculture's fallout I have this amazing view literally touching my kitchen window that I sat there to eat my lunch. I cooked dessert which was a banana, egg, some milk, vanilla and 1/4 cup of pancake mix blended and cooked in a pan. It cooked.
Today, outside my window on a branch that touches my window a cardinal came to visit. It was exttaordinary.
The cardinal has been on my path for years now, always elusive, today it paid a visit and stayed.
God visits in ways like this.
|How to be happy where you are
I worked out in the pool for an hour and a half.
Then, I turned on the positive speaker Joel Osteen and he is speaking on focusing on the blessings instead of the burdens.
Osteen said, A mature person enjoys the blessings while the burdens are still there.
He started out by saying, "Religion tries to beat us down if we do something wrong, don't believe those lies."
He's spiritual not religious.
You can be favored but talked about
Osteen said, "You are being talked about because you are making a difference."
He said don't you think that because you are burdened that you are not favored by God.
Run our own race. Stay in peace.
Everyone is open to being favored by God, the energy of the Universe.
And his preaching goes along with the solution focus training I learned under Larry Hopwood, the solution can be outside of the problem.
I said to Cath last night, if I don't get another job it doesn't mean I am not loved by God
She said, 'Nope, it just means your poor."
|Monday, June 27th, 2016|
|3 Catholic Men voted to keep Texas abortion law but 1 Catholic man voted with women.
Catholicism is interesting that way.
Roberts voted to save Obamacare; one would think his Catholic education caused that vote.
Kennedy voted with women on overturning the Texas Law.
I was listening to a radio show that most Muslim radicals are uneducated.
I watch a show called Sister Wives where a man is married to four women, and one of his daughters went to college and said she does not want to live in a plural marriage because college got her thinking)
Catholics in their best moments have educated their population.
Muslims if they want to move forward out of this label of radical Islam would be wise to start the process.
Again, if the world would stop sexism there would be change because so many issues are a result of attachment disorders from women who are mother's who do not know how to nurture their children becuase of the sexism they endured.
|Mom is bored
Cath went to the social worker of Mom's nursing home last month suggesting mom get out. The social worker said that was a great idea.
Cath knows the resources on how to get her out.
So the social worker reportedly called the power of attorney and he won't let her go.
He also won't let her go on the porch at the nursing home with me. I know how to use anything to intevene to get her thinking but we are in a box there. It's killing her brain cells.
This is elder abuse. It's a retaliation agaist me and Cath taken out on Mom.
Her children sit back and allow it.
I called Mom and she said, I want them to wake me when you call, I am just laying there to get rid of time.
I said, "Oh, Mom I wish you wouldn't do that, there are people working there that have hard lives and you would be so good for them."
The mindset that she might fall so she shouldn't walk boggles my mind. 'You might break your hip."
She has amazing bones. And why does it have to be all or nothing? I hope all of you in the family that sat back passively to allow this to happen because an in law thought it was best.
That in law plays the game in life of "What is wrong with this picture?" That's how the in law lives her life.
I was up against a bunch of pessimists and now that they have her controlled they must feel powerful.
It's a horrible way for someone to live out her life.
Every one in that place is in a wheel chair for the convenience of the place and these doctors like Dr. Jolly will do what the people want.
His nurse told me, "If that's what the family wants."
Joel Osteen treats people as if they have intrinsic value. You don't go in and tell your stories and not hear stories. After they visit her I know they have been there because she is exhausted from their talking and talking and talking and never listening.
They are incapable of it.
She told me today, "I want to get the call if it is you."
I said, 'I will start leaving my phone number so you can call me back."
I told her that I decided to just relax about the bill that is due in August. I have been scrambling to find another job so that I don't have to pay the 28 % past interest on teh lift chair I got her last August and she used less than a month.
I told her, "I had the interview but she told me she found someone else 2 hours after I interviewed and I am sure she read about the Miwlaukee Church's problem with me on my live journal."
She was hiring because she misjudged a helper who was on the phone constantly and so her misjudgement of me is in the same boat becuase I am good with keeping kids busy and we don't sit around. I clean while I work.
I said to Mom, "I love the families tath I have."
I mean this family last night talked about their limited lives on the West Side of town and how they don't go anywhere else.
And here I am in Middleton all of the time.
And the family I serve in the morning, they are citizens of the world. Their world is huge, so the world of their kids is huge.
It would not have been a good fit. I like worldly people.
I am learning and relearning to trust God that a disappointment can be a gift and I simply decided to quit worrying about that bill and just enjoy my summer on minimum money.
I can give to my mom's life.
I want to be around people who know that all ages and all types have intrinsic value.
|From the earth
Today I left the house with a beverage of blended lettuce, celery, blueberries, strawberries, banana and green protein powder.
This God we love, deny and curse moves
in the world with the focus of a fire red ant
marching on a twig outside a window, a
moncarch teases our doubt with a landing
on our arm. "Look at me," she taunts us
with her stained glass wings on a sunned
day. The taking in of the explosiion of the
God who reigns in the moment, now we
look up see the leaves shimmer in the breezy
wind, uncaptured, we move on to the next
wonder, all on an ordinary June day, with
visits from the God of Physics, energized.
|Sunday, June 26th, 2016|
|Ordinary Time in the Church
Today I made the alredo dish using riced cauliflower from Trader Joe's and also Zuchinni noodles. I learned how to drain the water from the noodles. It's on You Tube, you add salt, put them in a cauladron and then 20 minutes later the water is out of them.
The dish was ultra low carb adn delicous. I drank a beverge of celery, greens, and leftover zuchinni skinds this morning with a little added basil, it was refreshing and I got in my greens in a beverage.
I got on teh scale and I am down 7 pountds since the beginning of the month.
I write of what I did today to say this Catholic stuff is not the focus of my days.
I am just waiting for Jim Grummer to become Le Poop Noir. That's all I am waiting for. He's worked so hard for it, sending someone else to fire Thomas Reese from the Jesuit magazine during the Dorothy loving ruby red shoes of Pope Benedict reign.
All things caluclated with Jim Grummer. His hands are always clean. You can bet that his hands did not touch any of the divine dirt in that garden he's reigning over in the previous post.
This morning I had a dream of my dad. There were photos of family and in the very back he put his head out of the crowd of family and smiled at me with joy.
I used to have dreams of Pope Francis and I realized he was face of God visiting me in dreams.
Michael Gross wrote a kind note to me last Fall and I had written him 2 years ago thinking him for his work on the Church and I sent him a link to my blog where he read what I wrote of him 2 years ago and thanked me for my words saying I realized I never thanked you for your kind words.
So does Michael Gross know you Jim Grummer?http://www.vanityfair.com/culture/2013/12/gay-clergy-catholic-church-vatican
Here is the deal when I was 4 I was introduced to Father Lucy by my brother who was at Campion and he said, "This is Terri, she's so blunt that she would tell someone his fly is open in a room full of guys."
That's all I did when I exposed the persecutiion of Richard Roach to all sides of the Jesuits, I said, "Gentlemn your homophobic fly is open while many of you are gay yourselves."
I left my family because I had no vocie and it only got worse with time. They fear the Jim Grummers in the world who could destroy their careers being associated with me.
Me? I want to be free to be myself and now i am. It feels great !
|Pope Francis says Church should apologize for gay autrocities.
Before the sexual scandals of the Church came out, Father Bill Leahy said in a homily at Gesu that people needed to forgive the Church.
And i thought, well it would be possible if the Church ever said they were sorry.
Sorry for allowing 1000 Jews across the street from the Vatican to perish while Hitler's Pope did nothing to save them but worked on a Charlin Chaplin silent film of himself.
Sorry for using homophobia to destroy an effeminate priest?
Here is a link where you can look at a version of Hitler's Pope, the Jesuit in the garden? Well that's what Hitler's Pope did he walked the gardens of the Vatican working on a Hollywood film of self promotion. And here is our next Black Pope in the garden self promoting:
Actually you seem gay buddy.http://www.jesuitseast.org/news-detail?TN=NEWS-20160616092855_a
Clearly the Church's apologies have a long way to go.
You wear the resurrection on your sleeve,
not a pet peeve of the cross that glares
from an unkind sun, you wear the rise of
the energy of God, it blooms every where,
your naked feet walked a path you formed
a decade ago around a dead tree stump
that gives you morales, mushroom lover
genetically close to you and God, you
green the world each day with a devotion
of a beloved disciple, this God, you serve
she loves you, she blows seeds to your
garden, you immitate her eco-systems as
a way to perserve Her earth, you wear
the resurrection on your sleeve, the priest
and his collar, choke the earth, morality of
convenience, the sin of ambtiion, but you?
The monarchs circle your halo rising high.
|Wow, homeostasis !
We long for homeostasis. That's what our addictions try to acquire for us. Sugar for me, other things for other people.
Today, I woke up grateful. I knew I wanted to exercise again today so I had a gluten free meal by accident; I forgot to put the third cup of pancake mix into the banana, egg, dairy, vanilla mixture so I cooked the pancake and before I ate it I prepared the rest of my zuchinnin and I am off to Trader Joe's to get the riced cauliflower so I can make an alfredo dish with the zuchinnin and the rice and some parmesan. (Hungry Girl recipe)
Then, I went to the pool and I had it to myself.
And I am down further on the scale and hoping to get ot the set point by the end of the week.
I thought of my dad and how I wrote him when he was dying, "thanks for the great last name"
I love my name.
My dad said that the ranting and the meanness and the bitchieness came from the Barrons on the Doyle side.
My dad was really a Harty. Just like all Doyle's aren't Doyle's not all Harty's have sensitivity of the Harty's.
My mother said that I am a Roddy, but my dad saw the sensitivity and he worried about it.
I am grateful for every thing I have been through because i know the force and power of God from what I have gone through. You don't have Jim Grummer puppeteering everything from the curia for years and survive and thrive without being supported by an awesome God.
I was with some Doyle's the other day and one of them told me that she is avoiding Christmas next year because she is sick of the bitching.
Oh my god, it's from Barrons.
And Isabelle brought the Leahy to her kids to soften most of them. They are like her.
My dad brought the Harty.
And when he and my mom went to Europe, the plane fueled up in Ireland. he got off the plane, and a Harty was there to greet him and I have no doubt that Johanna Harty, his mother arranged that.
And the plane had to keep honking to get him back on the plane.
Oh my dad had such joy and I have it.
My life is well connected to God. I learned solution focus therapy from Larry Hopwoodl. I use it with asking kids positive questions to guide their lives, I found a preacher who is positive and believes in original blessing not original sin.
I feel free !
Each time I go to Dubuque I enter the valley where my dad said to me after he picked me up at Clarke to take me back to Marquette in 1982, "Now, don't think so much. Just take in the corn fields."
And he motioned his hands toward the corn fields.
And years later I would learn that it's at the point where Hwy 151 intersects with CHURCH Road. There are no coincidences with God.
I live in the present right now and I am happy !
I have a great friend in Dubuque who is like family to me. I love her kids. I have my Paris Kitchen in my condo this week and I watched an ant march like a king on a stem on one of the branches touching my window this morning.
I have it all !
|Saturday, June 25th, 2016|
|My mother's faith
My mother shared her faith with me during those years of the retaliation. I have this image of her walking into my apartment on Prospect in Milwaukee bringing a tiny rose bush blooming with tiny roses telling me, "Saint Teresa says that unexpected roses bring unexpected blessings."
She saved my life.
I love her.
|"I am a foreigner in a foreign land."
I called Mom before I went into Harbor to work out in the pool.
She said, "I am a foreigner in a foreign land."
She told me, "I told them if you call I want to know about it."
I had told her, "Every time I call you are not available."
There are two people there who called my sister in law without coming back to check on my mother in February because we were discussing the money she gave me.
The sister in law came to roll her away from me.
I know the helping profession and i knew my mother's rights were violated so I complained to the state.
The blond is a simple soul. She kept bragging to Cath that she had a nursing degree. I started laughing when Cath told me and asked, "From Peosta?"
After the state came in, the brunette tried to stare me down.
Honey, I have had the cross dressers of the curia on me, you are nothing.
It confirmed to me that you got in trouble from teh state for going against my mother's rights.
And may I thank Bill Leahy the president of Boston College for when he was Vice President at Marquette he could pick up a phone and give an order to the police to release a homosexual who had a warrant for his arrest for fighting Brandon in Chicago in Boys Town, I didnt even know what Boys Town was in Chicago before that homophobic scandal.
Oh the homosexual got in a physical fight with Brandon because Fitzgerald told him what car Roach had signeed out for a weekend and the homosexual followed Roach to Brandon's addres.
Oh isn't the Catholic Church, fun ?
I know that vice presidents of colleges can make calls and give orderz and people get scared and do what they want. Bill Leahy taught me that.
My doctor told me that there was probably things written in teh file about me warning the staff on me because well if a v.p. calls Dubuque will listen especially if name dropping was used, oh gee, they know that important person and I might lose my job !!! Ykes get me a bikes !
My doctor worked in one of those places and explained that that staff is probably out of their minds from it. She told me that months ago.
She also told me to work toward detachment saying, "That's just mom" if mom gets critical of life.
So I can read the staff if i write something positive about them they get leery and I think oh, the v.p. called with a warning.
So I todl Cath who is brilliant by the way that the two who called the in law on my mother's discussion with me must have gotten in trouble from the state.
And Cath, "Oh, I know they did."
The fall out has been that when I call when they are on I don't get to talk to my mother.
The peosta nurse tried to cover the other day asking who ? She knew who they have caller i.d.
My father knew my abliity to read people because he had it. It's a curse.
So the two who tried to have an in law roll my mother out of her conversation with me got in trouble from the state of Iowa.
My mother has rights.
And today I just had nothing to give and by the time I called her her voice was good and strong and she knew what she wanted.
She was my Joe on the boat through the homophobic scandal and the persecution that followed and now I am hers.
Tonight I had something to give.
We spoke of George Will, of how I learned from people in the know that the real issue behind this break from the European Union is about migration.
A person told me that Germany has such guilt about the holocaust that they are accepting every one and well the Jews were part of their culture for centuries; it's a different scenario.
So nobody is talking a bout the migration issue. Mom finds the stories that I get from these people to be interesting. They are citizens of the world, I am just lucky to share their space for a while.
And then I talked about Cath's life.
And Mom was well because I called and she said, I feel better now, I was nervous when I didnt hear from you.
I said, "I'll start telling them to tell you I called and I will keep a journal of when I called myself."
Now the two that the state came in on for Hippa and other things well they are in like flynn with the administrators, they are little groupies, I see it, the others just do the work.