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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in written source's LiveJournal:

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    Thursday, July 31st, 2014
    1:07 pm
    Patrick's home !
    Having so much with Patrick home ! Lots of laughs, and Mom is happy.

    A Clarke friend invited me to his home on Oct 3 when Dylan returns to Shullsburg to play at Cheese Days. Patrick said that Dylan is returning to the Cornerstone in Galena that Saturday night of Cheese Days. The Cornerstone loved the band; it was pulling in people walking by and only 3 people were locals, Dylan asked if there were any locals most were from Chicago with the Galena Territory so that should be a good turn out on that Saturday.

    I said to Patrick, "get him in Mickey's"

    Patrick said, "I am trying."

    So Dylan will come back to the Brink on a Tuesday in October.

    I love having Patrick home !
    Wednesday, July 30th, 2014
    8:39 pm
    I love this song Dylan and his band do
    The tall man filming in the beginning owns the Wherehouse Bar and he was once Michael Jackson's body guard among other musicians.

    He hooked Dylan up with the drummer.
    8:29 pm
    This video is fabulous
    Patrick wrote:

    I just love this video from a previous Pro Jam. Big Thanks to Gary McKeever and Sonny Rock for making this happen. Dylan playing with the Best Blues players NY has to offer:

    You can also see the drummer of the Dylan Doyle Band on that link; Scott of Clarke said that the drummer is steady. The drummer turns the drum into melody. Fabulous drummer !

    My biggest dream this year is going to Greenwich Village with Patrick when Dylan returns there.

    Patrick and I were there together in the early 80's.

    Well, Dylan plays at Woodstock on the 45th anniversary this August. He's lives by Woodstock.
    8:21 pm
    Liked it
    My nephew invited me to like the Psychedelic Zombie Barbeque so I did it. I do anything for my nephews and nieces.
    8:18 pm
    Ho, Ho, Ho
    I used to love how you swung your nicotine laden hair. Now you look like a grizzly bear ! In hibernation defined for you as a sedentary life. Stroke any day now, heart attack too, maybe lung cancer for you !
    8:15 pm
    E.T. call home
    Are you disappointed you only made my mind stronger and wiser? You were supposed to destroy me and show me I was not so smart. I am not smart, it's just you are burnt out from all your drugs.
    8:04 pm
    Hey this woman tested her stalkers like I have tested mine !

    Your E.T. (man from outer space) did what her neighbor did.

    Remember that time two years ago I said I was leaving the condo and instead I waited at the window and the man with the chronic smoker's cough came out and I blasted the music from my window to let him know I saw him. and he flinched.

    I think you used him because he couldn't detect a fed when he was picked up on drug charges and you knew how perceptive I am and you wanted me to know in your managed aggression ploy.

    Hey you picked the right one ! Thank you !
    8:00 pm
    It's nothing novel
    Today I waved to my dash, you know I figure that there is camera there, I was tending to my eyebrows the other day so I just assumed that you put out the theme of the day to let me know that you watch me there.

    I wave and I sing. I know the car is compromised. I also know you go wherever I go.

    It won't end. I accept it. I am free. But please know that I know, I don't say all things I perceive. Never have.

    My focus is my writing. I am in love with my novels.
    10:01 am
    My wonderful life as a writer
    Last night at 2 a.m. I texted my brother, Patrick, to say, "I got you for the first time in my life."

    I sent him a text that was a lie. He fell for it. When I was in 7th grade and our youngest brother was in 1st, Patrick told me there was shark in the pool, he made it so believable that I said, "Really?"

    My youngest brother says, "And I was in first grade and I didn't even believe it."

    So Patrick wrote back to my lie/joke, "Shark ! "

    He was on his way to SHullsburg from New York and had left at 1 a.m.

    I am so looking forward to seeing him.

    I stopped at the house last night, actually I cleaned it and then Michele brought pizza and we sat around to talk. I said I was going to see my sister and Steve said, "You can't go."

    Michele asked if I would get bored being up there that long.

    I said, "Not with them."

    She has gone on plenty of trips and left me behind and she said, "I am going to miss you."

    It's 600 miles away.

    So we talked about meeting in Duluth on my way back. I think we are doing it.

    We spoke of writing and I said that giving histories at the beginning of a book are a drage to read.

    Then, Steve brought up the author who is considered to be the best in dialogue so I am at the Middleton Library reading some of the author's writing now and it is powerful !

    My life is huge with these two people.
    Tuesday, July 29th, 2014
    9:49 am
    Seeing my closest Madison friends today
    Of course, Amanda is on that list but I am not seeing her; she was promoted to work with heart transplants as a nurse. She is the one who told me, "You are the only one who ever told me I could go to college."

    Well, she is smart; that's why I told her. Boy she is smart.

    Today, I drive from Mom's to go to Steve's. I will stay with the dogs while he has some meetings. Then, I will see Michele.

    Last week at the house, Steve told me a wonderful quote by Falkner. He feeds my life with ideas from reading.

    Oh and the beloved dogs are my closest Madison friends too !

    I love my life.
    Monday, July 28th, 2014
    10:32 pm
    "Anyways" is not a word, anyway does not take an "s" at the end
    I have been thinking about homelessness.

    I go back to the question I asked Howard Zinn when he came to speak in Madison about the Iraq war, I asked, "What about fear?"

    Up to that point, people had been standing in line saying what he thought and it was a "Yeah, man" session. I didn't know who he was. I asked, "What about fear?"

    He said, "What about it?'

    I said, "When 9/11 happened, I said, 'Bomb them."

    All the groupie regurgitators laughed.

    I didn't have a microphone just a voice that carries and I let them laugh because that is the job of groupies to laugh at the other.

    I just said that if we don't try to understand the fear that is fueling this war we are not going to stop this war.

    We never addressed our people's fear.

    The same thing is with homelessness. I feel a fatigue from the war going on in Madison.

    One side accusses the other side of blaming all homeless people; this is the side that does not recognize the power of homeless people nor does that side state expectations of homeless people.

    The blame goes to Landlords. A friend told me last night she would never want to be a landlord. I said, 'Me, neither."

    It's not a great position to be in.

    I know two women who took in a homeless family. The man tried to split the family from their son. Basically they smoked pot all of the time in the basement and the family wanted them out and they wouldn't go because there is a law that if you house someone for so long you can't get them out of your house even if they don't pay rent.

    The Tent Law potentially spares homeowners from these fiascos.

    Neither side is right on homelessness for neither side recognizes the power of the homeless as survivors. I think Tim Metcalfe did after camping out in Winter with them.

    My father showed up for Easter at the Y in Milwaukee where I was in a dorm at Marquette; he went to the Y's bathroom and some street people were in there and he said, "We've got to get her out of here."

    He didn't know the priest was what he needed to save me from, but he wanted me safe.
    My father didn't know that I studied the homeless on my own there, many had mental health issues and I found them to be fascinating.

    Then, we have the side that claims that all people want a free handout.

    So the war goes on.

    I believe many of the homeless have a personal power that comes from surviving. That power is rarely celebrated. Instead the notion that no one cares is highlighted.

    No persuasion happens in these wars. The voices for the homeless who they consider weak and ignored war on making the situation sound over whelming and impossible to change.

    No one owes me anything. Really. No one.

    Some of these voices outraged with the establishment have listened in on my phone. I spoke of the Gerry Garcia Gathering on my phone to my mom. The guy was funny, oh and he's friends with these outraged liberals who violate my privacy so they broke their gag orders to warn him to stay away from me.

    Yeah, I think you dead heads are bores and I don't like your way of life. You can't live like an individual in society; you are groupies. Your participation in stalking me while you are outraged at the "establishment" reveals that you are sell outs also.

    I don't want to be harassed on any street by people seeking money for drugs. They are often aggressive. And the reality is that they make the money in Madison stay off of state street.

    But your hubris of acting like you are so superior when you in fact violate my privacy shows that you are not different.

    You have access to me on internet.

    I have entered homes of the "establishment" as I try to survive this stalking and I never speak of my situation, but they treat me like a human being. I don't put anyone in a position to tell me anything.

    All of you don't treat me like a human being.

    I bother you because I can do it on my own.

    Today I was at doctor's appointment. There was a misunderstanding of time and the receptionist ran to the doctor to tell her what I said. Assertion is regarded as an illness by mental health receptionists at times.

    I saw her do it, and I said, "I don't think she is qualified to assess me"

    The beauty of the doctor is that she didn't lie. She has experienced me to be able to read the impossible because I read in my first meeting that the FBI was in there. And she said, "She wasn't assessing she just told me what happened."

    By not lying to me I liked my doctor who has helped my focus even more.

    I knew the FBI was in there the first time I met her. I told my mom, "People are terrified." So I understood her fear.

    So when your complainer yells about the people she perceives to be against the homeless, I know she has violated my privacy like many others

    I have a brother who at times can not be controlled by any one else's thinking. He is the one who told my youngest brother who moved in with me as an attorney because my youngest brother would not defend a pediophile so with his thousands of dollars of lones he moved into a two room apt with me. He took the bedroom and I took the living room. My oldest brother told him, "You can learn from her; she did it on her own."

    He meant I am not a gropie.

    I had a friend from Clarke who knew me and she said, "I was always impressed how you could go anywhere to entertain yourself."

    I bother you Grateful dead heads and company because I don't need groups. You can't live without the chatter.

    In your "bitching" you hurt the cause of homelessness.

    I think of that architect "Sambo" that I discovered; he made creative artistic homes in peace. The students had to turn some people down; reality was there but they were able to build a home and on the issue Sambo showed sensitivity and care for the homeless not outrage to those who have more money.

    Nothing is going to change with the "bitching" that goes on. The "establishment" will turn a deaf ear and the homeless will lose. Those who care just feel over whelmed by voices that have no vision but can only bitch.

    I wish someone who could show how things have improved would take on the issue of homelessness in Madison because people like to jump on board with things that work.

    I also wish you grateful dead heads would stop violating my privacy.

    Every time you "bitch" I recognize that you are no better in your ethic, and you are more or less projecting your own dark side onto the boogie man of the "establishment".
    9:05 pm
    The Secret of the Laughing Women
    They arrive for the shower,
    for unto them a baby will
    be born and they shall call
    her all things beautiful: a
    child from the God of life.
    One says, "In our country
    we could not speak to each
    other." The one from Iran
    wears a red lipstick frame
    for her white smiling bite,
    the womb from Jordan, tosses
    her expected veil at the door
    Another one from Palestine
    opens the unborn's gift:a
    globe of the world of wombs,
    all the same color inside of
    each strange country. Equal.
    The woman from Iraq offers a
    dish to the gathering, they
    laugh at their stories from
    the life they lived since
    their last meeting. The men
    would never meet with them,
    for they must uphold the world
    of war. Women want warless
    walks where girls grow into
    future lovers of the universe.
    This all happened one night on
    a day where they confessed to
    a Catholic outcast from the
    peace-less priests who stalk
    her with the FBI, "If we were
    in the Middle East we could
    not talk to each other." A
    nod follows from each of them.
    They want the Catholic to know..
    that day in Madison that shook
    wombs to joy to share with all
    forbidden neighbors in their
    old native countries armed with
    patriarchal should, thou shalt
    not talk to a woman from a land
    not of our liking. The Jewish
    woman offers a toast to life
    to the group, laughter rules, a
    world peace at a baby shower in
    Madison, center of their world.

    Sunday, July 27th, 2014
    10:27 pm
    Great Day !
    Had a wonderful day. Went to Dbq with a friend, then, talked to Mom, then went to hear the Dylan Doyle Band, then, fixed supper for Mom, then went to Darlington to walk in the pool with the same friend I went to Dbq with, then came home to talk to Mom.

    Just a wonderful day.

    I have such confidence in my novel writing; oh my god, I used to struggle. After I get this current one completed I will have to go back into the Christmas novel and make sense out of scenes I have written for the past 3 years; all the while knowing I was struggling for a focus.

    I love being in Shullsburg.

    At Dylan's show, a man came up to me to stand by me and I asked, "Should I know you?"

    He said, "You should, I went to school with you."

    I am thinking about Shullsburg High School and then I remembered it was a Clarke friend. He's talented. When Dylan visited 2 years ago, Dylan went to Iowa to hear this guy play the guitar and Dylan told Patrick, "He is really good ...." Patrick said, "He's been playing for years."

    The Clarke friend works for Head East (as a musician and tech) he also has another job, and he's talented.

    Clarke people who are not connected to Jesuits or BVM"s for an identity are good to me.

    He invited me to him and his wife's house in Iowa when Dylan plays there in October and Patrick should be there so I will get to be with Patrick.

    I have fun with Patrick. I told the Clarke friend, I can't wait to go to Greenwich village when Dylan plays there. Patrick said we would have so much fun.

    My world is wonderful these days.

    Mom and I are having fun. I just bing her when she gets going.
    3:02 pm
    Taking a Chance
    I spent $2.00 and won $39.00 at the casino this morning after brunch.

    I told Mom, "I chose a machine with the words, Money Bags, on them because dad used to call me that because I worked so many jobs in high school."

    She said, "Maybe he had you win."

    I said, "I thought of that."

    So the winnings covered a brunch for two and I paid gas money from it so my friend didn't have any higher costs than I did.

    Plus I have money left over.

    It was okay to do as a desert kind of thing, but I wouldn't want to sit there all day pushing buttons.

    It was a nice day with a good human being from Shullsburg.
    Saturday, July 26th, 2014
    10:40 pm
    Bing !
    Mom said something critical of the weekend weatherman; this is a weekend ritual for her.

    She said to me, "Hey you forgot to bing me!"

    I say "Bing" every time she gets negative. She cracks up.

    I love my life and I love my mom.
    10:38 pm
    So where is Karlton Armstrong
    19 years since the scandal was exposed 17 to 18 years on me, it took Father Bummer to get in charge for him to see that I had so much documentation that they had to get busy and create lies.

    To those of you in fear, I don't put people on the spot to tell me anything, I can read things for myself and I always trust me.

    If I allow them to make me not like any of you, then they win, I refuse not to like people they have involved because it's not the people's fault.

    It's called splitting people and I am not going to be part of it. So I would suggest you all relax; I am not spending my life writing about the dark side who has stalked me.

    So where is Karlton Armstrong? What happened to the charges? Were people too powerful involved? Or is he working off his charges some where?
    8:13 pm
    Dear E.T.
    Are your drug charges still going to be dropped since you turned into a spy for the FBI ?

    How does it feel that the East Side and your company know you are a narc?

    Ewww, we know you love your image.

    So when do they say you are free from your drug charges?

    I want to thank you for being inept, you helped me and I am grateful.

    I love it when you come out and smoke because I dream of impending stroke or heart attack.

    Do you have any teeth from all that smoking you do? Makes it hard to eat corn on cob and one of those corn boils.

    The myth is that I react when I know. I know. The FBI has allowed people access to the privacy of my life in hopes that I would kill myself from the shame.

    Instead I thrive !
    8:09 pm

    Dear E.T.

    That's what I'll call you, our special extra terrestrial being. Do you feel like an empowered white male God when you sit in your kingdom telling others what to do in an attempt to test what I know.

    Oh bring them out dear one, maybe she will react.

    This is what I perceived, 2 is the special number of condos and sometime 1 with the ugly curtains in 16.

    My car and phone are on gps; they follow me wherever I go.

    So they know I go up Sherman to go home and out came our favorite journalist, you know the one who is supposed to be outraged at injustice.

    He was carrying an IPAD that he looked at and I wondered, Oh is he following on gps? I watched in my rear view mirror as he watched his gadget and when I got far away he turned around, if he was on the gps then he would have known he coult turn around

    You allow people to watch me on internet. I often wave to the curia in Rome, our dear friend the bummer.

    Today is the 19th anniversary when I exposed the scandal. Previous to that I tried to stop it internally. I asked, "Why isn't he stopping this?"

    The therapist said, "I think he is a wise man, this is just a mess."

    WEll he knew the order, that they would come after him and attempt to destroy him.

    So I exposed it to all sides of the Jesuits including Father Roach who the top 3 were after (all Jesuit brothers of course)

    And Father Thelen still head Jesuit of the Wisconsin Province said, "Teresa, you know when to do the right thing."

    Father Thelen left the Jesuits last year.

    I used to wonder what it would be like to be the last Jesuit alive in the world, and I thought, "Oh, he would have to be a priest."

    Father Thelen left with Jim Grummer as the lead in the Curia of Rome; read Thelen's letter it's against the leadership of Grummer who gave up justice for power and the climb.

    You allow all kinds of people to see me in my pajamas or if I happen to change can you imagine having these flaccid penises looking at you while you are changing.

    This is an attempt to rape and/or disempower. I metaphorically spit at you because you will not shame me.

    Your great novice master worked on that for years because I could do things solo and he was groupie, still is.
    2:32 pm
    Grateful to Write
    I am grateful for all of the writing lessons I have received by example from other authors' work, even the things I would not do; that teaches me what not to do such as verb usage, that's where I am fussy.

    I am grateful to writer's who have written on the mechanics of writing to share their lessons.

    This has been a life long learning and I am still learning.

    But it's back, the clicking of my focus, when things just click.

    I am in love with my story of the nine year old farm boy who dies because of a farm accident and the family learns how to grieve, how to go on and how to keep him in their lives.

    I am glued to the story when I write it. I am almost at 20000 words and it's just going to get easier and easier because I love the themes of Irish spirituality that we live out in Shullsburg.

    Well off to be with two poets at the house.
    1:08 pm
    Finding Peace
    My mom wanted me to deliver money to the town priest for his vacation. This was huge because the last priest was terrible to her when she confronted him on the "morality" of Paul Ryan, the Catholic who is a disciple of the atheist Ayn Rand, who is basically a libertarian---every one for one's self and forget those in need.

    That former priest went to Darlington; this priest took his place and he is kind to her.

    Well the priest wasn't there last night so I will try tomorrow.

    I was happy for her sense of peace that she wanted to give this man money for his vacation. He brought her communion.

    Well I want to go work on my novel so off I go and then to the house to see Steve and Michele.
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